Where I Disappeared to at the End of 2018.

So before I begin, can we all just agree 2018 was kind of a shitshow? I mean really, looking back at the entire year all I can think is “What the actual fuck was that about???“.  I feel like we somehow all deserve a do-over. Or maybe we just quickly shut the door on it and pretend it didn’t happen. Like let’s not even talk about that one, ok?

In November things came to a head for me. I turned 40 on November 12th, and I celebrated the hell out of it this year.

We went to a very fancy restaurant with good friends downtown for the birthday dinner, and then the following weekend I took a trip to New Orleans.

New Orleans was a turning point for sure. I went and spent an amazing, relaxing weekend with a bunch of girls who came all the way down here just to celebrate with me. Me!! It was kinda surreal. I mean, there’s knowing that you have amazing friends, and there’s them trekking across the country when they really don’t have to, just so you have great memories. We laughed together, we drank together, we stayed up WAY too late together, and at the end of the trip we spent a night in just eating and talking because we are all introverts and THESE ARE MY FUCKING PEOPLE, Y’ALL.

I should have come back from that trip happy and ready to take on the world, instead I came back to the realization that my life had turned into a dumpster fire of stress(mostly work…sooo much work stress), I’d been majorly unhappy for the bulk of the year, and I needed to get my life together.

This led to making one of the best decisions I could have made – I quit social media for about 6 weeks. No Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter. I kept Messenger so I could keep in touch with people, but I completely cut myself off from the daily distraction and noise. I needed to focus on reducing stress, doing all those things I kept meaning to do, and generally being more mindful and present. While I couldn’t change everything overnight, this was an easy adjustment to make that would have a big impact on both my focus and my attitude.

Since work was my biggest issue, I looked right away at updating my resume and searching for a new job. I had been mostly focused on looking outside the company when my fairy godmother Tammy suggested I try her department, as it was much more the environment that I had been used to before the most recent restructure came in – you do a good day’s work, and then you go home and forget about it until tomorrow. It sounded perfect, so I emailed the manager, and holy hell y’all…I’ve never seen a hiring process go so fast! Emailed on Thursday, phone interview on Tuesday, in-person interview on Wednesday, offer on Thursday. Umm, YES!! So I am now under new management even though I haven’t officially started that role yet, as I have stuff from my old job to finish out first. I’m not kidding when I say the worst of my work stress will literally be gone by the end of this week. Way to start a new year!

Side note – my new manager and I have known each other on social media for years, so this is my first time having a current boss on my FB. All I can say is you knew what you were getting into. 😂

Job stuff aside, I’ve been working on getting those random projects done, spending more quality time with Paul (when the kids let us) and working out a schedule that balances time with the family vs keeping the home running vs some very much needed time alone. It’s not a perfect system yet, but we are working on it.

I usually make big New Years resolutions, but since I already have Sara’s Get Your Shit Together plan in place that I’ve been chipping away at since November I’m just going to resolve to keep at that. It’s working for me so far.

And social media? I’m looking at ways to post so I can continue sharing those amusing little thoughts and pictures and bits of randomness without getting sucked back into the void of ‘Oh crap, where did the last 45 minutes go??’. Buffer may end up playing a part in that, but if anyone has good posting tool recommendations send them my way!

I hope this finds everyone well, and if not happy, at least working on a plan to make it so. We got this.


Happy New Years!

Happy New year everyone 

As is typical for me this is a day late and a dollar short.  Y’all know I’ve been sick the last few days and so I was the first to fall last night, although Gabby and Paul ended up asleep early too. The spirit was willing but the flesh was… exhausted. We did get a couple of rounds of Exploding Kittens in and eat an entire thing of spinach dip, so it wasn’t a total loss.

2017 was a year of changes for us. Most notably Paul’s career path taking an unexpected turn, and the adjustments that brought to nearly every part of our life. While it hasn’t been without it’s stressful moments, I couldn’t be prouder of how we’ve come together to face it all head-on instead of letting it drive a wedge between us. Cheesy as it is, we’ve always viewed marriage as teamwork, and even under pressure we are not that couple that keeps score. We kept our cool, did what needed done, and did our best to support each other along the way(and kick each other’s ass when needed).

I’m hoping 2018 brings a little less change and a little more peace. I want to streamline, simplify, and generally make life run a little smoother. I want to feel more on top of things and less like I am just barely keeping it all together. And I want to work on feeling a little less guilty when I do drop those balls that inevitably will, because it’s just not possible to give 100% everywhere at every time.

I hope 2018 sees more of you at our table and in our lives where we can. Friendship is so important and this past year seeing so many of you was what made the year feel like one of our best ever despite the really difficult moments.

Thank you for being there with us in person and in spirit 

The New Years Resolution Post That For Once Isn’t Full of Bullshit

In the past I have been the queen of the New Years resolution. I love making them, and feel like there is always room for improvement. Even if you don’t keep them, there is a lot to be said for making goals and striving to stick to them.

2012 was an amazing year for us – Paul’s immigration stuff got finished, he got not one but two long-term consulting jobs , we got a great visit with my mother in law, I got to spend more time with my family, and we found out we are expecting a new arrival next August. We are happy with the rental we are in, and everyone is healthy.

We did ok keeping our 2012 resolutions, which included things like getting the immigration stuff finished, preparing to get pregnant, and trying a new restaurant every month. So now I’ve hit a dilemma – what do you commit to change when life is going pretty well?

Losing weight is kind of the old stand-by, but being pregnant throws a bit of a wrench in that. I could try to commit to losing the baby weight by the end of the year, but will I really be happy putting that sort of pressure on myself so close to the holidays? I think not.

This year my goals are going to be more realistic. 2012 was all about change for us, I’d like 2013 to be more about slowing down to enjoy life.

I want to take more time to read. It’s something I greatly enjoy, and not having a ton of energy these days, it’s easy to do without much effort.

I want to de-clutter a bit and get rid of things that aren’t used. Not because I want a spotless house, but because I want to simplify, and useless things that just take up space are stressful.

I plan to eat healthier now that the holidays are over. Gaining weight is part and parcel of being pregnant, but I don’t do myself any favors by eating poorly, and it just makes me feel sick afterwards.

Finally, I want to work on being kinder to myself. I’ve always said I want to lose x number of lbs, or read x number of books, or do this or that, but when life happens, all I see is that I didn’t accomplish what I expected to.

Overall I’d like to just stress less and enjoy more. I feel like sometimes we get so busy and so caught up in things that we forget to live in the now and do what makes us happy. Cooking good meals, spending quiet evenings with friends, having more meaningful conversations…This is my plan for 2013.

Taking 2012 and Making it My Bitch

2011 was a great year for us here in the O’Flaherty household. We got to spend a lot of time with friends, we road-tripped to Birmingham a few times, we pulled off another Barcamp, and Paul continued to push ScrwMedia forward into his full-time job. We got to spend lots of time with the kids, the asshole frog only ate 8 or so of my aquarium fish, and no one had to go to the emergency room. We have a roof over our heads, Firefly on DVD, and laugh together far more than most couples we know. I think on the whole, I can’t complain too much.

2012 is looking to be a much busier year for us, with the plan of moving into a different rental over the summer, and continuing to work on expanding the evil empire. I am pleased enough with keeping my New Years resolutions last year(getting out more and losing a bit of weight) to get more ambitious with them this year. My focus for 2012 will be on expanding my horizons, and working on getting myself healthier(and dragging Paul kicking and screaming along with me on this one!). I want to learn more, experience more, and encourage those around me to do the same. Life doesn’t just happen, you have to seek out the knowledge and experiences the world has to offer. I don’t want to just coast through 2012, I want to bend it over and make it my bitch. This will be our best year yet.

2012 New Year’s Resolutions

  • Create and stick to a budget/savings plan as we did in 2011
  • Room by room organization of the house in preparation for moving over the summer
  • Read 1 new book a week
  • Try 1 new restaurant a month(Fast food doesn’t count!)
  • Start listening to more podcasts
  • Lose and maintain 25lbs by September 1st
  • Blog more! (3 posts per week)
  • Be physically and financially ready to start trying for a baby by September

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Years Eve, and your kiss at midnight is nothing short of magical.