Where I Disappeared to at the End of 2018.

So before I begin, can we all just agree 2018 was kind of a shitshow? I mean really, looking back at the entire year all I can think is “What the actual fuck was that about???“.  I feel like we somehow all deserve a do-over. Or maybe we just quickly shut the door on it and pretend it didn’t happen. Like let’s not even talk about that one, ok?

In November things came to a head for me. I turned 40 on November 12th, and I celebrated the hell out of it this year.

We went to a very fancy restaurant with good friends downtown for the birthday dinner, and then the following weekend I took a trip to New Orleans.

New Orleans was a turning point for sure. I went and spent an amazing, relaxing weekend with a bunch of girls who came all the way down here just to celebrate with me. Me!! It was kinda surreal. I mean, there’s knowing that you have amazing friends, and there’s them trekking across the country when they really don’t have to, just so you have great memories. We laughed together, we drank together, we stayed up WAY too late together, and at the end of the trip we spent a night in just eating and talking because we are all introverts and THESE ARE MY FUCKING PEOPLE, Y’ALL.

I should have come back from that trip happy and ready to take on the world, instead I came back to the realization that my life had turned into a dumpster fire of stress(mostly work…sooo much work stress), I’d been majorly unhappy for the bulk of the year, and I needed to get my life together.

This led to making one of the best decisions I could have made – I quit social media for about 6 weeks. No Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter. I kept Messenger so I could keep in touch with people, but I completely cut myself off from the daily distraction and noise. I needed to focus on reducing stress, doing all those things I kept meaning to do, and generally being more mindful and present. While I couldn’t change everything overnight, this was an easy adjustment to make that would have a big impact on both my focus and my attitude.

Since work was my biggest issue, I looked right away at updating my resume and searching for a new job. I had been mostly focused on looking outside the company when my fairy godmother Tammy suggested I try her department, as it was much more the environment that I had been used to before the most recent restructure came in – you do a good day’s work, and then you go home and forget about it until tomorrow. It sounded perfect, so I emailed the manager, and holy hell y’all…I’ve never seen a hiring process go so fast! Emailed on Thursday, phone interview on Tuesday, in-person interview on Wednesday, offer on Thursday. Umm, YES!! So I am now under new management even though I haven’t officially started that role yet, as I have stuff from my old job to finish out first. I’m not kidding when I say the worst of my work stress will literally be gone by the end of this week. Way to start a new year!

Side note – my new manager and I have known each other on social media for years, so this is my first time having a current boss on my FB. All I can say is you knew what you were getting into. 😂

Job stuff aside, I’ve been working on getting those random projects done, spending more quality time with Paul (when the kids let us) and working out a schedule that balances time with the family vs keeping the home running vs some very much needed time alone. It’s not a perfect system yet, but we are working on it.

I usually make big New Years resolutions, but since I already have Sara’s Get Your Shit Together plan in place that I’ve been chipping away at since November I’m just going to resolve to keep at that. It’s working for me so far.

And social media? I’m looking at ways to post so I can continue sharing those amusing little thoughts and pictures and bits of randomness without getting sucked back into the void of ‘Oh crap, where did the last 45 minutes go??’. Buffer may end up playing a part in that, but if anyone has good posting tool recommendations send them my way!

I hope this finds everyone well, and if not happy, at least working on a plan to make it so. We got this.

 

The (Non-Instagrammed) Face of 36

Happy Birthday to me!

I decided to post a birthday selfie because it’s my birthday and why the hell not?

image

I used to think 36 was pretty old, but being here myself now, I can say it may be tiring in a ‘4 months pregnant and have a toddler’ kind of way, but I don’t feel the slightest bit old.

It’s weird to think I’ve been wearing contacts for 20 years, driving for 20 years, and had the same best friend for 29 years(when did that happen???). I have a daughter who will be 17 in 6 months. 20 years ago I was only 3 years away from having my first baby, now I’m 6 months away from having my last. All that says I should probably feel pretty damn old, but I don’t.

What I do feel is lucky. I always thought that 30 was one of the biggest milestones, but my life is full of love in ways I never knew possible 6 years ago – the love of a man who literally moved across the world for me, the love of my kids who keep me laughing regularly, and the love of friends that have stood by me through good times and bad.

The next year looks to be bringing changes and challenges, and I look forward to every busy minute of it, hopefully getting to spend even more time with family and friends.

2014 Already?

2014
Wait, it’s what date???

Yeah, that kind of sums up 2013 for me. Malcolm Tennant made his fairly dramatic arrival on August 2nd, and once that happened life just became a bit of a whirlwind and I had a hard time catching my breath. He’s an incredibly easy, happy baby, but even having the Happiest Baby Ever has been a big adjustment. I went back to work at the end of October, and after that it was like the holidays just came from out of nowhere, catching me completely off guard. Thank goodness for wine and Amazon Prime is all I can say.

I want to think that life will settle down in 2014, but Paul and I have decided to take the plunge and have one more baby, and as I’m not exactly getting any younger, the plan is to do it soon. Like, as soon as possible soon. Given how difficult the small age gap(17 months) was with my older boys, the irony of again wanting 2 under 2 again is not lost on me. If Paul hadn’t turned out to be such a natural at the daddy thing I’d probably be ready to stop with Malcolm, but he has absolutely amazed me at every step, being as hands-on and willing to be involved as a guy could possibly be. Quite literally the only thing he doesn’t do with him that I do is breastfeed, and that’s only for lack of equipment. (It has been such a refreshing change from the “Well, I can’t feed them so I can’t really help” attitude of my last marriage.)

With that in mind, I am NOT resolving to lose weight in 2014. I met my goal of losing the baby weight in 2013(plus a few which I promptly gained back over the holidays), and I was happy with that. I’d like to work on getting myself healthier for the next pregnancy, but I feel like anything more will probably be setting myself up for failure.

With Malcolm finally getting to the point of not hating the car so much I’d like for us to start getting out more again. Mardi Gras is on the horizon, and I was too tired to do any parades last year, so that’s a big goal for this time. I miss the trips to the mall, and spontaneous jaunts to Pensacola and trips to Birmingham. I also want to see more of our friends this year.

The usual goal of reading more and getting organized still stand, and this year I am adding the desire to spend less time on menial tasks like grocery shopping. Better meal planning means less trips to the store, and I am setting up Amazon subscriptions to have the non-food items we often forget delivered to the house on a monthly basis. I swear at least 50% of our after-work trips to Walmart are for things like cat food and toilet paper! Having them sent to us regularly should mean less trips out and less money spent on impulse items.

There’s probably a few more I could add, but keeping it simple worked for me last year, and hopefully will this year as well. Hope everyone has a healthy, happy New Year!