This is What a Tantrum Looks Like on a 42 Year Old

(And unfortunately for him, a tantrum on a balding, morbidly obese 42 year old is not nearly as cute as it is on a 4 year old.)

So this has not been a fabulous week. I got a broken tooth, which very quickly became infected and started giving me the kind of pain one would expect from I dunno, say, having a screwdriver rammed into the gums. Not good. Went to the dentist and was given antibiotics to take before they can do (OMG A FUCKING ROOT CANAL) a repair on the tooth. I hate going to the dentist, so this all had me a little stressed. They did give me painkillers, which they said would keep me from killing anyone comfortable until the antibiotics kick in. I have VERY low tolerance for things like that, so Paul (and I’m sure everyone in my Twitter stream) has been getting a good giggle at my expense.

Aside from the tooth thing, I was not able to find anyone to supervise this weekends visitation with the kids. I have awesome friends who are very quick to help where they can, but it was just a bad combination of people being busy or out of town. It happens, but unfortunately it means I will not be able to see the kids this weekend.

Totally sucks, but Brendan’s birthday is Tuesday, so I figured at least I’ll be able to see them for an hour or so then. I’ll pick up a cake, and it will be just like Gabrielle’s birthday in June, which fell on a Monday. Same story, right?

Apparently not.

When the ex emailed asking what the deal with the weekend was, I told him I wasn’t able to get anyone for this weekend, but asked what the story is with Tuesday. This was his reply-

There is no story
with Tuesday. It is not a visitation day for you, this weekend is. Brendan’s
birthday is close enough to your visitation weekend for you to celebrate it
during your scheduled visitation time. I have no plans on making a special
trip over with them on Tuesday. If your recent behavior was more appropriate
lately I would have considered it, but I am not comfortable spending time
around you with your recent actions.

Considering our only contact in the last two weeks has been in regards to him locking me out of the master bedroom and my subsequent removal of that door, it’s pretty safe to say he’s decided to retaliate by not allowing me to see my son on his birthday. This was driven home to me when I emailed back and said that if he was ‘uncomfortable being around me’ then there should be no problem with me having a supervisor with me and picking up the kids for an hour or so Tuesday night so I could spend part of Brendan’s birthday with him, to which he replied-

You have your scheduled weekends. The schedule of every other weekend has not changed since it was imposed. So you have had more than enough time to plan and arrange for supervision. If you have alienated yourself so much from actual friends and family to the point they are not willing to help you then that is the situation you have created, not me. Have a nice weekend and I would suggest you start arranging now for the next visitation weekend so you can celebrate with Brendan at that time. If you wish to drop off his birthday present from you this weekend I am fine with that as long as I have sufficient advance notice and as long as you understand you would not be staying.

Real sweetheart, ain’t he? Got to love a man who so clearly puts his kids above all else.

14 thoughts on “This is What a Tantrum Looks Like on a 42 Year Old

  1. I know you're in AL, right? Honey, there is no judge in our state that would put up with that. Don't most standard custody agreements allow for visitation on the child's birthday?


  2. Seriously, what kind of arrangement wouldn't allow for you to see him on his birthday? That's ridiculous. But Mr. Man over there is being a douche bag anyway. He's not just hurting you, he's hurting your son. Honestly, what a selfish jerk.


  3. Wow, that's nasty. I agree with everyone else…what an ass! I hope that somehow things can be worked out so you can see your son on his birthday, or that something can be worked out.

    Plus I'm totally with you on the fear of dentists thing-I'm embarrassed to admit that I see mine as LITTLE as possible. (read: I don't remember the last time). I have absolute fear and loathing of the dentists office and would likely be crying if I had to have a root canal.

    By the way, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment on my blog. I didn't even realize you read my blog, and so it was a nice surprise. 🙂


  4. First off, my root canal was the BEST dentist experience that I've ever had and I DON'T do dentists. Wait. That sounded bad. ANYWAY.

    Secondly, my parents divorced when I was two so I'm well acquainted with what you're describing. What sucks the most is that the kids really are the ones who pay the price in the end.

    The parents are so wrapped up in their own hurt and anger that they aren't able to see that they aren't doing what's best for their kids; the parents are actually hurting their kids.

    One day, your kids will know the truth.
    One day, your kids will understand why you weren't there.

    I know that's very cold comfort, but it will happen eventually.

    Come up to Huntsville and we'll have a drink and chat.


  5. He seems very bitter. Break ups do that. Too bad it is at his kid's expense.
    I ended up hating my mom for all the negative things she said about my father to me after they split. Yeah, he was a douche bag, but it was MY decision to love him or not. Keep being who you are and your kids will make their minds up on their own eventually and just end up harboring ill will toward their dad most likely.


  6. I've been reading some of your archives tonight. Wow, I thought my divorce was bad. You get the worst divorce award…and your ex gets that douchebag award you mentioned in a previous post.
    So sorry you missed your son's birthday.


  7. Gah,what an ass to the h,o,l and e. I’d bet a dime to a dollar that when the kids are old enough to realize how much trouble he has gone through to be such an ass, he’ll actually be surprised that they hate him. Heh, he’ll try his damned best to blame you for it.


  8. Meant to add: I was widowed in 2003, right about the time 3 of my friends were going through divorces. I remember one of them saying I was lucky to be widowed instead of divorcing. At the time I thought that was a horrible thing to say. It was horrible on the side that my daughters lost their father, but after seeing what my friends went through, I understood what she meant by it. I then realized she may have been right. I remembered the night I was trying to go to sleep after getting our daughters to bed (both under 3 at the time) and almost hoping he would die in a traffic accident on the way home. He was diagnosed with bone cancer 2 months later.
    My late-husband said if I dared to divorce him he would do one of 2 things: quit his job (network admin, great money), work piddly cash jobs & hide from me & child-support or sell off our investments (I didn’t really know much about how to do such at the time), stash the cash & take the girls from me.
    I doubt any court would have given him custody but I know he was enough of an ass to the h, o, l & e to try it.


  9. If I have learned anything in life, it is this…there are 3 sides to every story. His. Hers. And the truth. You sound like a sad little nutcase. Probably a reason you need supervised visits with your children. As far as your little suicide "attempt"….next time try tylenol…an overdose on that is fatal. Or you could stay on the crazy train and OD on strawberry coolaid next time. Fun. What a fantastic blog that would be….you could title it.."what a fake suicide looks like on a wacko having a tantrum." Look get off the computer, put your rats in the outhouse and be a mother to your children! Forget the ex and work on you. And yeah, you do have to love ANYONE who puts their children above all else.


  10. I agree, what an ass.
    It does seem like he is being fed statements from a lawyer, and like a lawyer is trying to stitch you up and has a plan to discredit you.
    One day this horrific divorce will be over, please keep on being strong!


  11. I agree, what an ass.
    It does seem like he is being fed statements from a lawyer, and like a lawyer is trying to stitch you up and has a plan to discredit you.
    One day this horrific divorce will be over, please keep on being strong!


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