Think I Could Pull Off the Bag Lady Look?

Today I am back in court. Again. No, there won’t be a divorce anytime soon. (Oh how I wish!)

Like so many things, I have to be careful talking about this situation on my blog until it is a matter of public record. My ex is trying to use anything and everything he can against me, so I try not to hand him too many bullets if you know what I mean. Anyhow, I am setting this to publish at 9am, so by the time this goes up, we should be in the courtroom, and shortly thereafter you’ll know if I am homeless.

Yeah, you read that right.

About a month ago, my lawyer quit. After a year of insisting I do NOT go back to work, I need to stay home with my kids, etc etc, he decided he had to be paid before our May 20th court date. Maybe this is some fancy trick they teach you in law school, but in my world, no work = no money. When I had no way of coming up with a year’s worth of legal fees in the 4 days notice I was given, he quit and filed a continuance for my divorce hearing.

I won’t lie, I was floored.  As I asked him before I left his office, how do you not tell, but insist that it would be a terrible thing for your case to go back to work, do not enforce the status quo order that was put in place nearly a year before but has been ignored, and then expect them to pull $10k+ out of their ass? Especially when you’d been telling them all along that you would be asking the court for him to have to pay those legal fees.

I walked out of his office more than a bit disillusioned. I decided going back to work was the first order of business, and I needed to get a lawyer who didn’t believe in magic money fairies.

The next day, the day my divorce should have been final, a continuance was granted, and we had a new court date set for October 20th.

That same day, the ex had his lawyer file a motion to have me kicked out of the house.

Shocked? Stupidly, I was. I should have seen it coming. Back when I was in the hospital for having tried to commit suicide, part of his going after custody of the kids was that he wanted me removed from the home, and that part was denied. That’s when he upped and moved the kids to his parents house, because I was ‘too dangerous to be around them’. Not too dangerous to be alone with them the day I got out of the hospital mind you. Not too dangerous that he insist I give them their baths that night because ‘he’d been doing it for 4 days now’, and certainly not too dangerous to get them up and off to school the day of that hearing. But once temporary custody was granted? Shit, I became a walking grenade who could just explode at any second and take them with me.

Guess my brand of crazy is just special that way.

Only it turns out, I’m not actually crazy. After the ex was given temporary custody of the kids, I went and had an independent evalution done with a psychiatrist at the center when I see my regular therapist. It was her opinion that my trying to off myself was a one-off thing brought on by massive stress, and that I do not show any symptoms of having any mood or personality disorders, other than my depression, which is stable.

Not only am I the only person you’ll ever know with actual paperwork saying they don’t have herpes (based on my ex’s apparent brush with the Herpes Fairy, which he is still currently suing me for) I now also have a letter from a psychiatrist saying that for the record, I’m not insane. Some people hang their diplomas on the wall, I personally plan to frame and display these documents in my next home. Should make for great conversation pieces.

Anyhow, in his motion, my ex is claiming all sorts of rediculous bullshit. I should be removed from the home because….

1. He claims I have not been trying to take my visitation with the kids. Clearly his herpes-addled brain has forgotten not only the ridiculous hoops he has tried to make me jump in order to be ‘allowed’ to see them, but also the times that when he disagreed with the person I picked to supervise the visit (as outlined in the court order), I was turned away at the door and he threatened to call the police. This happened on not one, not two, but three of my visitation days.

2. That I ‘carried on an open affair with another man’.  Yes, I had an affair, but let’s face it, this is NOT news. I filed for divorce a YEAR ago. We have not lived as man and wife in any sense of the word since then. And a year after the fact, my kids still do not know Paul exists, so clearly this is not detrimental to them in any way. The only place this is ‘open’ is online, and if he wasn’t so busy stalking me online, he wouldn’t know what I was doing.

3. My personal favorite..through no fault of the ex’s, I caused my attourney to withdraw, in a ‘blatent attempt to put off the divorce hearing’. Yeah, because that whole not having access to the bank account for a full year..had NOTHING to do with not being able to pay my lawyer.

4. He is claiming I have other places I can live. Nevermind we moved here from another state, nearly two hours away for his job, to be near his family. I’m sure somewhere in Mobile I have another house, and I’ve just forgotten about it, right?

5. I am going to quote this one, because it’s so funny and the legal jargon is so impressive- “That basically all the plaintiff is doing is sitting around, has not attempted to gain employment, and is living off the income of the defendant, which in turn has put the defendant in a financial hardship having to maintain two households without any help from the plaintiff.”

‘Basically all I am doing’..which semester of law school was that taught in I wonder? Anyhow, this one is so riddled with bullshit I’m not even sure where to start. I’ve emailed and faxed my resume to umpteen different places in the last 6 weeks, with a resulting 4 interviews. None of which hired me, but we have a 9.8% unemployment rate here right now, and the job market is incredibly tight. Still, the effort IS being made.

And the financial hardship thing? He may be under financial hardship in his mind, but clearly his wallet doesn’t think it’s having too hard a time to continue buys the kids toys and video games left and right, or that iPod Touch he bought his mother for her birthday recently. What do those run, $200? Must be tough being that broke.

So now I get to go into court, and hope the judge sees through all his bullshit. I’ve seen first hand how screwed up this court system can be, but then again given the motion to kick me out was filed as a direct result of finding out I no longer had a lawyer..well, the intent of taking advantage of the situation doesn’t get any more blatent I don’t think.

Either way cross fingers for me today. If I can’t stay here I may be sleeping on your couch soon.

****Update July 6 11am. Back from court, and no decision yet. I know this is typical, my old lawyer said the verdict is usually given later to keep people from fighting or whatever in the courtroom. Could hear something today, might not be for a few days.  Will update as I know anything.

6 thoughts on “Think I Could Pull Off the Bag Lady Look?

  1. I have a comfy couch for ya. And it’s a big ass sectional so I don’t even have to give up my own butt-worn spot!

    Butt (heh) seriously, you’ve got my prayers.


  2. Unbelievable. I've heard nothing but horror stories about the legal system from friends who've had nasty divorces. Good luck. I hope you aren't homeless and find a job soon.


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