The Penis Thing, Again.

I have said before I am not cut out to raise boys, and I meant it. I keep hoping they’ll have mercy on me and quit throwing me these penis-related curve balls, but no such luck.

Only in my world do I have to explain my dear, sweet 4 1/2 year old son why it is NOT ok to try to get the dog to give your pee-pee kisses. Being before 7:30am the best I could come up with as I stood there hyperventilating was that we don’t let anyone else touch our pee-pees, and that includes the dogs.

It’s officially a race to see who needs therapy first, me or the kids.

Posted in Old

21 thoughts on “The Penis Thing, Again.

  1. Oh Boys and their privates….it’s never ending. I can’t stand it! Lately, W. has his hands down his pants CONSTANTLY. I went to kiss him goodnight the other night and I saw movement under his covers. I told him in no certain terms that I would not kiss him until his hands were in sight. He thinks it’s hilarious! I believe that will change in a few years.

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  2. As one of those boy types let me tell you that this is normal. We under go a love/hate relationship with our penises until we hit puberty.

    There will be times when he’ll just want to pull the thing off and throw it in the bin.. that is, until he pulls it the right way.. then he’ll never want to let go 😉

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  3. First – it’s great to see you post again.

    Second – my boy of the same age has been finding wood in his pants recently. He keeps wanting to show me and I keep explaining that he needs to keep that something private.

    It’s amazing what these boy creatures can come up with!

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  4. Once they find their best friend, well it just doesn’t end. My 4 year old walks around holding himself all day. It’s like a little, cute, Al Bundy. Sheesh!

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  5. PLEASE…Please…do not tell me your dog is a Pit-Bull..Please! and also, Please do not tell me that your next post is going to be on your dog being gay… Just kidding…I forwarded your blog to my daughter who also has a 4 1/2 year old boy full of pee-pee questions. I am sure she will relate..

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  6. As a mother of 3 boys all under the age of 6 I can so relate to this post! I am forever telling them they can’t walk around with thier hands down thier pants. I am forever telling them they have to do that in private. Just the other day they wanted me to tell them who was bigger. Still at a loss for words for that!

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  7. **bangs head on desk** See, THAT is exactly why I’m afraid of boys (men I can handle). My little boy is 5 1/2 months old and you’ve just added one more bullet point to the list of nightmares I have.

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  8. I find my self saying “quit touching yourself” far more often than I EVER planned. I guess I should just count my lucky stars that we have no pets.

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  9. It starts at birth and doesn’t end until the day they die. I asked my then 3 year old what he wanted for his fourth birthday and he said “An even huger pee-pee!”

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  10. oh. my. God! i’m laughing…and at the same time i’m scared out of my fucking mind! i could SO see Logan doing that when he’s older…..thank God we don’t have a dog!!!

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  11. Paul’s comment has me dying over here!

    Has your son yet realized that the dog ‘kisses’ his own penis? Yeah, that was a fun conversation I had with Nicholas…

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  12. I’m so glad you posted this story. I thought I was the only one who had boys doing inappropriate things like that! lol Boys are so fun to raise…and quite a challenge at times as well, if you’re not used to them. I didn’t grow up with boys in my household, so now having two boys, I’ve learned a lot quickly.

    Everything is a contest in my house. EVERYTHING. Who can get to the kitchen fastest…who can eat their food fastest…who can be first to pick out which pancake they want…etc. It’s never ending. At least the dog is female.

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  13. I think Mr. Business Golf may be on to something; does the dog lift his leg to pee, or squat? If he squats, you may have issues.

    Nukie Howser
    Blog Hoppin

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