A little under a month ago I posted about the Mardi Gras ball coming up on the 30th. For those that don’t remember, I had a *teeny* little problem with a dress 2 sizes too small. I decided to try to lose 20lbs in 25 days, and squeeze myself into that dress again. I’ve had a lot of well-wishes and inquiries about it since, and since the day is nearly here, I guess its time to answer- did I succeed?
No. And yes. Sort of.
Clear as mud, right?
Long story short, I lost almost 10lbs. Right up until 2 days ago. At which point the crankiness and the bloating started. Practically overnight, I gained back nearly 5 of the 10lbs I’d lost. Nature seems to have quite the sense of humor, in that I have short cycles, between 21-23 days. Which would be fabulous if I were trying to get pregnant, what with several extra cycles a year. (Aren’t you jealous?) But I’m not. And so in this case all it means is that the one month I am really trying to keep the weight off, I’m having my period and all the eating and bloating it entails, TWICE. Wtf????
Not to be conquered by my ridiculous cycles or an uncooperative dress, I decided I’d not given up this fight yet. I set out to Kohl’s, and picked up the modern day equivalent of a corset, only much, much uglier. I don’t know how to describe it, except its like grandma underwear attached to this really tight waist thing that goes up to right under my bra. It smooths everything out except right at the hip, so I had to buy a second contraption to go under the first, and these are like really long, tight boyshorts. There’s going to be more Lycra under that dress than a Vegas hooker convention, but by god the rolls shall be tamed and the gown shall zip.
As long as I don’t have to breathe or pee for 4 hours I should be just fine.