The Rest is Still Unwritten

I had a friend break up with me last night. Gawd that sounds so teen angst-y doesn’t it? It feels that way.

In short, because I grew a conscience and grew up, I ‘have changed’ too much to be her friend.

I am ok with that, I’ll claim it.

In fact I am going to flat-out embrace it. I *have* been going through a lot of changes this year. I’m rethinking my priorities, and realizing what is important to me. I’ve examined my values and found them lacking, and have worked to rectify that. I’ve found a focus with my writing, and I’m making goals. For the first time ever, I feel like I know who I am, what I want, and where I am going. I am dropping extra baggage, and only keeping what is important to me.

Sometimes change is good.

Posted in Old

29 thoughts on “The Rest is Still Unwritten

  1. Yeah, most of the time when a friend divorces me, I no longer give a shit anyway.

    I have to admit though…I don’t want to grow up.

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  2. I am happy for you that you got closure. I had a friend recently just stop talking to me because I used Crisis Nursery. Nice huh? Supportive. Not.

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  3. Is it mean of me to want to say Congrats??

    If you were dumped for growing a conscience then I just worry about the people who stay. Will they now be able to stand together as a group when one of their members is found out even though they don’t all agree. Will there be no one there to say, “hey, maybe we shouldn’t do this?”

    Well welcome to the world of Online Divorcees. We are a nice bunch. lol

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  4. I had a friend “break-up” with me once a few years ago. It was for no good reason, other than her being jealous of another friendship I had. It felt very “high-schoolish” and it was very hard for me to accept. I had always tried my hardest to balance these two friendships and in the end, I guess I just wasn’t good enough at it. I loved your song choice!

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  5. When I left a board because of the same sort of issues, I was dumped by someone that I was quite close to. Or thought I was anyway. That one hurt, when I was told I was in an obnoxious place and she couldn’t be around me anymore I was stupefied. I realize that I never really knew any of these people, let alone her. I wish I could move on and have the same take on it that you do. I have to try. I know I have to. I just wish it would stop hurting. I don’t get why I want to be around them when I know that they would readily tear me apart as look at me. Why do I care. ๐Ÿ˜•

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  6. You have grown up a lot. I have been reading your blog pretty much since you have started and I can see that you have definately grown. The pack mentality that can form in groups is astonishing. We aren’t wild animals. I am glad to see that you are adjusting to your divorcee status with grace. Oh and ITA with Rhonda.

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  7. Divorcing friends is always hard, and usually necessary. I have done it to… with ones I truly thought were my best friends and turn out not to be.

    Online friends? I’ve divorced a couple of them as well. It’s still not easy.

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  8. It’s always hard to lose a friend, but I’ve found it’s usually for the best. Can’t you tell this has happened to me quite a bit in the past few years? ๐Ÿ˜›

    There’s just something about becoming more responsible that turns off certain people who’d rather things never change.

    Good Riddance. Good Closure.

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  9. My wedding Day was the last day I saw or spoke to the Best Man in my wedding.

    Growth happens, those that don’t get left behind… even if they think THEY are the ones leaving.

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  10. It’s something that happens “around” the age of 30 for alot of women.

    We do some house cleaning in the friend department.

    She may have done the actual breaking up with you but you may have initiated it subconciously as well – to her. You changed, you called less, etc etc…and she understood it.

    I dropped so many people in my early 30’s. Mostly people who did give back as much as I gave. Or who didn’t add anything but stress to my life. It happens. Quality over quantity.

    HUGS

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  11. I’m sorry that you lost a friend, but it happens. When I was in college I had tons of friends, and only a few of them remain. I grew up and started a family, they didn’t. My priorities changed while they were still hitting the bar scene. Whatever. I’ve made tons of new friends that have a lot in common with me NOW, not then. I think that’s common. Your life, priorities, interests change over time, as do your friends. Even though it happens to everyone, it’s still sad sometimes….

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  12. Some “friendships” are more trouble than they’re worth… It can suck to lose a friend, but in the long run, you’re definitely better off.

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  13. I’m sorry. It still hurts even if it was meant to be. I have less “long-term” friends as I get older. Maybe I’m too picky, or maybe I just don’t like people. :mrgreen:

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  14. UGH! You and I are going through a lot of the same self realizations now. I am beginning to realize that one of my friends that I was blaming for our problems-uh-wasn’t to blame-I was. ๐Ÿ˜ณ However, with some changes that I am making in our life-I feel so much more open with my friends-less trying to live this ideal life-trying to live an imperfect life with grace-I don’t know if all my “friends” will jive with this, but I know the real ones will. Talk about a run-on. I guess one of my changes is letting go of grammar snoberry! ๐Ÿ˜†

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  15. Good for you! I love when I make little revelations like that. Unfortunately sometimes when we make positive growth we have to drop people who won’t grow with you.

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  16. Wow. My first time visiting here, and…well…wow. That post resonated with me in so many ways. I’ve been pondering a lot lately about how much I’ve changed in the last few years, and how disconnected that makes me feel. Some friendships are slipping away, and I’ve been so saddened by that. Perhaps, instead, I should feel joyful in the realization that I’m beginning to fulfill my potential at long last. And perhaps new friendships await?

    Thanks for the insight.

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  17. I have an on again, off again relationship that I think I need to end, but I don’t know how, or even if I should. We’ve been friends for 35 years. Somehow, I can’t bring myself to just toss that, even though we’ve grown so far apart over the last few years. It’s hard.

    I’m glad you’re good with what happened. It makes it easier.

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  18. It is hard to lose a friend- especially one who you have known for a while- but sometimes the energy it takes to maintain a relationship with someone who’s values really aren’t the same as your isn’t worth it.

    Good for you for knowing yourself!

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  19. Seems like this happens to all of us at some point. The idea that we have to continue to be friends just because we once were is kind of stupid. There is a lot to be said for loyalty, of course, and old friendships…but if you’re tying each other down, or if one or both of you can’t cope with the changes that have happened? Time to end it.

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  20. My stepdad dumped me 1 year and a half ago. “We no longer have that much in common,” in response to my putting my girls and husband first. My mom has not called him on it. My fury and pain are boundless.
    ” I am dropping extra baggage, and only keeping what is important to me.” Amen.

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  21. Currently going through a friend divorce as we speak. Sad, isn’t it. Yet, I feel so free and good about my decision to walk away and file the papers.

    We had our season, but our lives are now at cross purposes, and the one thing I have learned since my son died was how truly precious my time and my life is and I only want to be surrounded by positive people and people who can teach me something. Not drag me down.

    Besides, now that we are down one less friend each, we have more room for each other!

    Smooches.

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