legal bullshit

Do I Smack Him on the Nose With a Newspaper or Call a Locksmith?

I wrote last week about the court stuff, how my ex tried to get me kicked out of the house and failed.  If you haven’t read it, do, because it’s important.

Done? Cool.

Losing in that hearing put him in a mood. A VERY bad mood. The kind of  “Oh yeah? I’ll show you!” mood that leads him to do stupid things like continue to sue me for the herpes he’s got but I don’t have. This time was no exception.

When shit hit the fan last year, I immediately moved out of the master bedroom. When he was still living here, he slept in that room, and I took to the couch in what used to be the playroom, but is now just my room. After he moved out, I stayed in here instead of taking over the master bedroom. Why? I think mostly because I have a court order saying he is not allowed in my room under any circumstances, and I could see moving into that room and him declaring that that’s not what the court said was safe and all my shit disappearing. Once this hearing was over I put a key lock on my bedroom door and settled in, as our next hearing date isn’t until October.

This isn’t to say the master bedroom sits unused. While he moved most of his stuff out with him, there are still things belonging to both of us in there. We kept most of our books on a large bookshelf in that room, there is a safe in the closet where we keep important papers, all the manuals to the household electronics are in the closet, etc etc.

And then there’s the tub.

One of the few things I love and will miss about this house is the large jacuzzi tub in the bathroom. While I generally stayed out of ‘his’ room after he left, I did start using the tub again. Taking a long bath in a jacuzzi tub is just one of those small pleasures I get anymore, and I enjoyed it.

I’m sure you see where this is going.

A few days ago I went to get a cookbook off of the bookshelf where we keep them in the master bedroom, only to find a surprise- he’d put a lock on the master bedroom door. The kind of lock that requires a key.


I immediately shot him an email telling him he had no legal right to lock me out of a room in our house that he no longer lives in and that I expect either the lock to be removed, or a copy of the key handed over. I also said I needed a key to the shed, which he has also kept me locked out of for months now. (Why? I have no idea.)  His reply:

I will move any of your books from my bedroom. After that you would
have no reason to be in that room since it contains my personal effects, not
yours. You moved yours out over a year ago. The house is still my house
also. If you force entry into that room it will be brought up in court. You
have your room with your personal things with a lock on them and I am fine
with that. I do not trust you not to damage, steal or destroy my belongings
and therefore do not want you with access to them. It is still my house and
I am not removing all of my belongings and I have a reasonable right to
privacy for them.
As far as the shed goes, just tell me what basic tools you need
access to and I will have some brought into the house. If you feel you are
capable of needing access to all of them then you are saying you are capable
of maintaining the entire house and you can then do any and all repairs as
well as maintain the yard.

So just to recap, immediately after losing the case to get me kicked out of the house, and FOUR MONTHS after he moves out, and nowhere in that time is his bedroom door locked and nothing has disappeared, he is suddenly concerned I am going to barge in and steal what little crap he has left here.

Hey, I never claimed to understand his logic.

I emailed him back and told him I still have every right to use that tub, and that we still have things belonging to both of us in that bedroom, including a safe with legal documents and some other household items, and he has until Sunday to either remove the lock or hand over a key. His response was to come over, pull some cookbooks off the shelf, and leave them on the kitchen counter, locking the door again behind him.

In short, a great big “fuck you”.

I’m curious how teh interwebs would handle this one.

Damned if I Do, Damned if I Don’t. (Court Update)

So remember how I told you we had court on the 6th, and I was about to find out if my ex was going to have me kicked out of the house?

Ummm, yeah, that didn’t go so well. For him.

He had his lawyer, and I was without one, thanks to mine up and quitting, and in the end, the judge still ruled in my favor. I will not be forced to move out of my home until the divorce is over.

I know my ex had to be shocked, given how gleefully he  told me I would “be packing my shit and getting out soon”. But hey, I think I was due a little good news after the past year right?

I’m not going to say anything further on this, other than that as much as he bragged about how expensive his lawyer was..well..I’d love to see the bill he gets for the preparation and attending of that particular hearing.

On another good note, there has been a change for the better where the visitation situation is concerned. He had been denying me seeing the kids any time I brought up a new person to supervise, because it wasn’t going through this insane maze of me to my lawyer to his lawyer to him. (Nevermind the court order simply says that I tell him who will be supervising. No hoops, no approval, I just have to give him the name, and show up with a supervisor.) Well, once I represented myself in court, I am officially considered pro se, meaning I am my own lawyer, at least for the time being. Which means from this point, he cannot deny me seeing the kids just because the information came from me and not my lawyer.

It’s a huge relief because he has done his best to make it a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situation. He won’t give me the extra gas money needed to be making a 6 hour round trip drive twice a day to pick up the relatives he ‘approves of’ to supervise who live out of state and don’t have reliable transportation, but boy you better believe I hear about it if I don’t have someone and can’t see the kids. Then I’m a shitty mother who just doesn’t care about her kids. The fact that he previously refused to ‘approve’ of pretty much anyone locally because it wasn’t going through my lawyer was just details in his mind I guess.

This was driven home to me again today when he emailed me saying he ‘approved’ of the new person I submitted to his lawyer to supervise the visit Sunday. He then asked what that meant for the visit on Saturday, when I have a friend coming over so I can spend 12-5 with the kids. (This person has a busy life of her own, but has been incredibly kind to give me what time she can, and I VERY much appreciate that. I take what I can get.) I messaged back that it’s two different people, why would person B spending 8-5 here Sunday have anything to do with person A being here 12-5 on Saturday?

This is how he addressed my reply, copied verbatim from his email-

I didn’t know if  (Person B) would also then supervise Saturday morning. But if you are unable to get someone to supervise the few hourson Saturday morning that (Person A) can not or you are unwilling or uninterested in exercising your entire visitation Saturday then that is fine. I will mark it down that you only wanted them  Saturday afternoon or was unable to obtain someone for Saturday morning, despite having additional supervisors approved. Like I said it truly demonstrates your lack of desire to spend all of the limited time you have with your children and the utter lack of a substancial support system.

As I said, damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Does It Count as Being Dooced if You Get Sued Over Your Blog?

So I put up Part IV of the Truth series a little earlier than planned. I can’t stand having posts back up, and this one needed to be written, because it concerns the others. (If you aren’t up on what I mean, go read Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV of my ‘Truth Shall Set You Free’ posts.)

I was out running errands earlier when I got a call from the ex. He informed me that someone had forwarded him copies of my recent posts, and that he felt he needed to make me aware that posting his personal medical information in a public forum is a federal offense, and that he has already sent the copies straight to his lawyer.

It seems he is planning to take legal action against me for ‘revealing his private medical information’ on my blog.

Did I miss something here?

I don’t claim to be a lawyer, nor do I play one on the internet. I admit to not having the HIPPA laws memorized, and truthfully I don’t know if I even spelled HIPPA right.

HOWEVER…doesn’t common sense dictate that the second HE goes to court and files legal documents claiming that he has herpes and that I gave it to him, that this ceases to become ‘personal medical information’?  I have always been under the impression that once papers are filed with the court, they become public record, and are searchable by anyone.

I do not have copies of his medical records, nor have I seen them. (My lawyer has copies that were obtained when he first made this claim, but I assume due to those privacy laws, they were never shown to me.) All I know and have shared here regurding the herpes case is on public record with the Mobile County Courthouse for anyone who has the time and inclination to go look it up. The fact that he charged me with this, and the fact that the lawsuit has not been dropped are both, as far as I am aware, open and free for anyone to look up.

The only truly personal health information I have shared here that is NOT currently on public records are my own test results, which are mine to do with as I please. If I want to shout to the rooftops and take out a billboard saying that I do not have herpes, I am legally allowed to do so.

In short, I was initially sued for giving him an STD that not one but two blood tests show I don’t have, and now it looks like I may be getting sued for writing about it on my blog.

I’ve always said handcuffs were my idea of a great Friday night.