I Didn’t Get a Raise Because I Forgot to Douche

When considering asking my boss for a raise, I’m not sure ‘remember to douche’ would be at the top of the to-do list. Or in the top 5. Or even the top 100.

Coca-Cola PR…FAIL!

I don’t know if you guys are familiar with Coke’s ‘My Coke Rewards’ program. Different Coke products had codes on them worth 3 points, 10 points or 20 points, depending on the size of the pack or bottle. You could then redeem these codes for things like Blockbuster rentals, magazines subscriptions, stuff like that. I myself collected them for like 2 years, and have literally a shoebox FULL of Coke 12-pack flaps with codes on them. You could only enter 10 codes per day, so at 100 points a day they capped you at 700 points a week. (This is important.) Given the number of flaps I have, the daily cap was annoying, but whatever.

Today I get this in my email-


Note the cheerful announcement of the ‘Great news’, how they’ve made ‘big improvements’, and how starting February 16th you can enter as many codes as you want per day! Up to 120 points per week! Smiling model! Hey America, we’ve done this for YOUR convenience!

Wait. Back the fuck up.

10 points per flap..times 10 codes per day = 100 points per day.

Now..120 points per week. How dumb do they really think we are?

That smiling model up there? That’s the face of Coca-Cola laughing and pointing as they say bend over, and we aren’t using lube on this job.

Great. big. giant. PR. FAIL.