Month: August 2009

In Which My Ex Shows His True Colors, And I Get a Laugh

I swear the divorce drama never ends. The minute I think things will calm down, and he’s finally acting like a human being again, the ex throws me a curve ball.

This past weekend was supposed to be my weekend with the kids. Still under supervised visitation, my friend Ashley came and spent the day with us Saturday. Ashley has an adorable 2 year old daughter named Alexis that Damian took quite a liking to, and a good time was had by all. I hadn’t been able to get someone for Sunday, so Ashley, bless this woman, volunteered to spend the day with us Sunday as well. (Have I mentioned I have amazingly wonderful friends? I do, and they have seriously been awesome through all of this.)

Sunday morning I am getting ready for Ashley to get here, and during this am back and forth over email with the ex about my pet rats. He freaked out when I got them, threatening to deny my visitation with the kids, because he seems to think domestic rats who have spent their entire lives indoor in a cage are the same danger to people as wild rats. Umm, yeah, that’s why they sell them in pet stores, because they are so dangerous, right? Whatever dude. Anyhow, we are back and forth over it, and he is once again telling me he will refuse to let me have the kids if the rat cage is in any room the kids have access to. (He insists the rats need to be taken to a vet and certified disease-free, but refuses to pay for said unnecessary vet visits. Maybe I would have the $300 to do that if he’d pony up the $700 in car repairs he owes me among other things…) Total control issue, and I just wasn’t in the mood for his games.

It was at the end of this back and forth email exchange I looked up and realized it was getting close to 8am and Ashley hadn’t gotten there yet. Damnit! I went to get my phone out of the bedroom and saw she had texted me saying she’d picked up her daughter from her mom’s and the poor thing was sick, apparently puking everywhere. She wouldn’t be able to make it.


I was pretty upset at not being able to see my own kids, but hers was sick, and I understood. I called and explained to the kids what was going on.

Not content to accept the fact that this was out of my control, the ex once again he had to try to find SOME way to make me look bad. After all, I suggested he bring the kids over himself so I could see them and that was shot down. But if he let everyone know that, there’s the slightest chance he might look like an asshole for not putting the kids first.

So what does he do?

He actually came over to the house, by himself, and after seeing a bunch of paper cups/plates/napkins in the corner of the kitchen, declares that I am having people over, and that’s why I gave up seeing the kids that day. (And I know damn well he went back and told his family this.) Oh, and apparently took pictures of the stuff, for ‘proof’.

Little problem with this theory? The paper products had been in that same corner of the kitchen since August 21st. How do I know the date? I had them out for a get-together I had with friends here that night.

A get-together where, naturally, there were pictures taken.


(Click on the picture to see the full-sized version.)

It wouldn’t be so bad if he hadn’t been to the house probably 4 times since then, and was well aware the stuff has been sitting there the whole time. No, he didn’t want to look bad, so why let a little thing like the truth stop him? Too bad I had this and other dated pictures of the stuff sitting in the corner after that to show just how much of a liar he is.

That would have been funny enough on it’s own. The best part is when fate decided to step in.

That stomach bug that Alexis had that the ex is trying to claim I made up?

Damian went home from school sick with it today.


Guess I wasn’t making it up after all huh?

Because I Don’t Mind Embarassing Myself

With all the news lately about going up and down and up again, and Friendfeed being bought by Facebook, it’s looking lately that the best way to keep your content from disappearing is to keep it on your own server.

I made the final decision this weekend that any future podcasts I do will be hosted here on my own site instead of using BlogTalkRadio or the like, and went ahead and put up a media page for those to keep things tidy. I hate blank pages, so I went ahead and put up some old mommyblogger-type podcasts that I did back in the day with Megan from Velveteen Mind, Jennifer from Playgroups Are No Place For Children and Heather from the Queen of Shake-Shake. Ridiculously silly stuff mostly dealing with breastfeeding I think, but good for a giggle. We were all just starting out in the whole blogging thing, and had no clue as to what we were doing, so feel free to laugh at us in addition to with us 😉

Suburban Oblivion’s Media Page

Group Blogs and Digital Content Rights- Who Owns It?

It seems like a great idea at the time- you, and a couple of internet buddies decide to get together and create a website together. You have massive plans to take the internet by storm, because this will be the greatest website ever created!

At first, things go smashingly. Your website gets traffic, and what started as a group blog turns into a podcast, which then sparks other ideas and further content.

Eventually, as always happens, life gets in the way. The excitement dies down, the enthusiasm fades, and possibly so do the relationships of those involved. Gradually the site starts to gather dust, disturbed only by residual traffic from the places it was syndicated.

So what happens if one day one of the content creators decides that for whatever reason, they no longer want that old stuff online?  “Take it down”, they say, “My posts and the audio content I helped create.” No matter what the group dynamics, the question becomes this- who holds the rights to digital content that was created with more than one person involved?

My thought initially was that in the case of one person writing a post for a group blog, that if they decide they want it pulled, it’s their content to pull, right?

Not always. Without a written agreement, the water starts to get a little muddy.

When someone willingly posts to a site, there is no question of consent to the use or syndication of their content. It’s a given that when you post something online, it gets sent out to wherever that feed goes, and it is stored in the great internet memory pretty much forever. To pull the original posts might take them off the first site, but the information will still be held in other places, and so it will not be truly erased by any means. The only real result might be some broken links, which is certainly not a help to anyone involved, especially a site that still sends residual traffic. The point is once it’s out there, it’s out there.

Google forgets nothing.

The same goes with podcasts, only the lines are less blurry. You can’t take one person’s voice out of a podcast, so in theory the podcast belongs to the group as a whole, and in actuality it belongs to whoever owns the space it is hosted on. You can demand something you contributed to be removed, but if you are not the sole owner, it is not actually yours to remove, so long as you consented to being a part of it to begin with.(Clearly recordings done without the other person’s knowledge fall into a different category altogether.)

As we were discussing this today, Paul came up with a great analogy regarding group sites and digital content rights. He described it like a book, written by two co-authors, with a preface by a third. Three years after publication, should one of those authors decide they don’t like what they did, or don’t care for the other co-authors, they can’t come back and demand the book be recalled and their pages removed.

As blogging becomes more prolific and more content is created digitally, people need to become aware of what happens to their collaborative content past the initial creation phase, especially when handing that content over to someone else’s domain.

Once you give content to another site, there is no asking for it back.

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