I received a message on a social media site recently asking that I tone down the language on my blog. Seems she feels what I write is not fit for young eyes.

Hey please watch the profanity i have young kids in my family that are on facebook and are on my page and i dislike being chewed out by there mothers and fathers for profanity on my page.

thanks for understanding,
B

First I started to laugh. I have NEVER claimed what I write is child-friendly. Given the number of times a day I use the word ‘fuck’ on Twitter alone, I think it’s pretty clear I will never hit less than an ‘R’ rating. My humor is for adults, not children, clearly.

As the laughter died down, it occurred to me to ask her what age are we talking about here? I fired back a message asking what age these kids on Facebook are exactly.

“7 and younger” is what she tells me.

Say whaaaaaaaattt?

Last I checked, Facebook quite clearly states in their terms of service that no one under the age of 13 may use Facebook. (When I asked why these 7 year old children were allowed on the site against the TOS, she promptly removed me from her friends list.) Now she wasn’t overly clear on whether these kids were being allowed to register and participate on Facebook, or whether they are just looking over other people’s shoulders, but either way, I’m not seeing where this is my problem exactly.

Keep in mind, I am a parent myself. I have three kids, the oldest of which is a daughter, now 11. A daughter who is not allowed on any social networking sites. A daughter who has never been allowed to hang over my shoulder and read the sites that I am on, because she is a child.

As a parent, it is your job to keep your children from reading adult content on the internet.

As a parent, it is your job to not visit sites containing said adult content if you cannot keep those children from hanging over your shoulder and reading.

As a writer, it is not my job to censor myself so you don’t have to do your job (see above).

Seriously people..grow the fuck up and parent your kids, and quit expecting everyone on the internet to change their way of doing things just so you don’t have to.

46 Comments on Why Should I Censor Myself Because You Suck as a Parent?

  1. Gina
    July 20, 2009 at 12:05 pm (8 years ago)

    OMG, people are ridiculous! I don't want my kids being exposed to a lot of things, either, which is why I control what they watch, read, etc. What a fucking idiot!

    I recently received a friend request from a (complete idiot) relative's 8 year old daughter. I ignored it, because I do have a potty mouth and i don't want her to be able to read what I write. And then I got pissed because I am clearly more worried about her than her own mother is, since she lets her use facebook.

    Reply
  2. Seriouslysweet
    July 20, 2009 at 12:23 pm (8 years ago)

    I agree completely…I'm wondering if she goes all over the internets asking this of everyone she comes across? And how many would be willing to comply?

    Reply
  3. Kristina
    July 20, 2009 at 1:26 pm (8 years ago)

    Amen Sara! Forget the language…there are images on some people's FB pages that are not fit for anyone's eyes, child or adult. I don't know about other parents, but the only sites my 6 and 4 year olds have seen are pbskids, webkinz and the occasional YouTube video of old cartoons Daddy used to watch in the 80s. Yeesh.

    Reply
  4. Halala Mama
    July 20, 2009 at 1:37 pm (8 years ago)

    Exactly.

    The parent I most admire has children who once in high school are allowed on social networking sites, however, her 7th grader doesn' t have an Ipod and a cell phone. Her four children are expected to interact with the family and she gives them her full attention. Her older boys are rapidly turning into responsible adults because they were introduced to different stages of life (media, Internet, etc) at the appropriate times and then taught how to use it responsibly. She did not just turn her children loose on FB to learn on their own from the age of 7.

    Ridiculous.

    Did you spell check her stuff and send it back?

    Reply
  5. Nikki
    July 20, 2009 at 2:24 pm (8 years ago)

    But what about the children Sara??? WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN????? Censor everything! Ban the filth! We must protect the children! If we don't, who will?

    Note the sarcasm. This is one of my big peeves. Parents refuse to take responsibility for what their children watch, read, or listen to. Instead they expect others to do it. Why should your rights be violated because of lazy parents? Our society places entirely too much responsibility of "protecting the children" on other people.

    Reply
  6. karen sugarpants
    July 20, 2009 at 3:10 pm (8 years ago)

    That's brutal and I'm 100% with you on keeping the kids away from the computer when I'm on it. Y'all know what I say on Twitter and it's not fit for my kids. What I don't get is the parents who create accounts on Twitter and FB for their babies, toddlers, school aged kids. WTF?

    Reply
  7. corrin
    July 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm (8 years ago)

    I've gotten similar emails. It's not my responsibility to sensor myself for their children, it's their responsibility to monitor their children's online activities.

    Reply
  8. jennydecki
    July 20, 2009 at 3:16 pm (8 years ago)

    Oh for fucks sake.

    Tell her to put her kids on pbs.org and step off your nuts.

    It's not like the Internet is so small there's nothing there for her way-too-attached-and-nosey-and-bored children to do but stare at her screen and learn how to read on Facebook.

    Reply
  9. Laura Scarborough
    July 20, 2009 at 3:20 pm (8 years ago)

    thrilled to see that someone else out there on the interwebs agrees with me.

    Reply
  10. Jill
    July 20, 2009 at 3:23 pm (8 years ago)

    Gah! The nerve of some people!

    Reply
  11. Rebecca
    July 20, 2009 at 3:32 pm (8 years ago)

    She should be ashamed of herself, and you keep on swearing sista! Adults are adults, and kids are kids, and the two are very different.

    Reply
  12. tena
    July 20, 2009 at 3:39 pm (8 years ago)

    AMEN! Hopefully she will learn soon how to parent her children and can then teach them the correct usage of "there, they're and their"!

    Reply
  13. melissa
    July 20, 2009 at 3:42 pm (8 years ago)

    i've been told to tone down my language too.
    give me a fucking break.
    some people.
    seriously.

    Reply
  14. steenface
    July 20, 2009 at 10:42 am (8 years ago)

    I personally love the bit about their 7 year old being on Facebook.
    WOW.

    Why the fuck is their seven year old reading a blog instead of an actual book anyway?

    Reply
  15. katie ~ motherbumper
    July 20, 2009 at 4:00 pm (8 years ago)

    Nailed it with "As a parent, it is your job to keep your children from reading adult content on the internet." Nothing boils my blood more than lack of accountability – parenting responsibility or anything else for that matter.

    Reply
  16. Merritt
    July 20, 2009 at 4:31 pm (8 years ago)

    Couldn't agree more. My kids are 9 (twins, a boy and a girl), and over my dead body do I let them on any social networking sites. One of the parents of my daughter's friends (who I'm friends with on Facebook) lets her daughter have a page on Facebook. So naturally, my daughter wanted to have one as well. I took one look at this kids picture (posed in a bathing suit like she was 19), and said HELL no. Not only is it totally inappropriate for them as far as adult or even PG-13 content goes, but hello? Can you say, "please stalk me kiddie porn predator". No thanks. Parents need to learn to smarten the hell up.

    Reply
  17. Jamie E
    July 20, 2009 at 4:41 pm (8 years ago)

    The problem with facebook is that unless you hide someone, you have no choice about what shows up in your news feed, and that is just the home page. You are right 7 is too young, hell 13 is too young for facebook imho, but like you said who's to know if it s a kid looking over her shoulder or a kid with an actual account, I can't make a statement about that without more info. She should've just "hid" you if she had a problem, or just deleted off the bat, she has control over what shows up in her feed and should not put it on you.

    Reply
  18. Bracey
    July 20, 2009 at 6:11 pm (8 years ago)

    Wahey, you found a moron. Yawn.

    Reply
  19. Summer
    July 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm (8 years ago)

    Well fuck. I had no fuckity fuck idea I had to fuckin' watch my funckin mouth so some other fuckin' mom could let her kids play on fuckin' Facebook. Fuck. 😉

    Reply
  20. cristina
    July 20, 2009 at 7:54 pm (8 years ago)

    wonder if she sent a message to the porn sites asking them to tone down the nudity too! sheesh. idiots abound in this world.

    Reply
  21. Jennifer
    July 20, 2009 at 9:13 pm (8 years ago)

    I went to the Nickelback concert last Friday. A kid not older than 4 sat in front of me. I was blown away. This sort of goes in this category or nutty parenting. Who in there right mind brings a 3 year old to a rock concert.

    The poor kid sat there with his hands on his ears the whole time and the bands had the crowd screaming "Fuck" every time it came in the songs, it was crazy.

    Reply
  22. Just Pizza
    July 20, 2009 at 5:40 pm (8 years ago)

    RT @subrbanoblivion Why Should I Censor Myself Because You Suck as a Parent? http://bit.ly/oUSx2 GOOD BLOG -Control your own kids – ditto!

    Reply
  23. Cyndi
    July 21, 2009 at 12:48 am (8 years ago)

    That's absurd. Who the fuck does she think she is telling YOU what to write on YOUR blog?! She needs to stop trying to parent you and figure out what her 7 year old + friends are doing on FB!

    Reply
  24. J@jellyjules.com
    July 22, 2009 at 5:02 am (8 years ago)

    I'm with you 125%. My 13 year old doesn't have a Facebook page, and won't for a while yet. I'm not ready to have her exposed to that, nor to have to know what she's being exposed to (since I'm sure she hears the same kind of things at school that I heard at 13). She does not read over my shoulder. But if she did, I would take the heat myself, not put it on the person who writing the page.

    Reply
  25. Celeste1
    July 23, 2009 at 8:14 pm (8 years ago)

    Somebody needs to smack her

    Reply
  26. dysFUNctional mom
    July 24, 2009 at 12:16 am (8 years ago)

    But, but, it takes a village, and all that crap. @@
    An alternate reply to herwould've been "fuckity fuck fuck fuck!"
    ;o)

    Reply
  27. DSB
    July 24, 2009 at 3:27 am (8 years ago)

    What the fuck? That's even worse than the lj friend who asked me to stop importing my tweets to my lj account because twitter gets on her nerves.

    Reply
  28. feather
    July 24, 2009 at 8:42 pm (8 years ago)

    Love it! I actually block my parents, a couple super perfect relatives that I don’t want to argue with, and anyone under 18 from my status updates and wall. Viola, super easy, and don’t need to watch what you say. One of the few good features of Facebook is the ability to do this. It’s also super easy to hide someone’s (those relatives you don’t really like, but feel obligated to keep in touch with, for example). I don’t really want to be Facebook friends with my kids, they are my kids, not my friends, and even when they grow up there are some things you just don’t need to know about your parents (or children, hence blocking my parents)……….
    I don’t understand stuff like this. A Facebook friend was complaining about his ex being told about things he was saying about her on her page. It was decided that she was probably logging onto their teenage son’s page without his knowledge and seeing it that way. But “I can’t block my son, that would be horrible” More horrible than not being able to say what you want to your friends and essentially venting to your child about their mother?

    Reply
  29. the planet of janet
    July 26, 2009 at 4:04 pm (8 years ago)

    grrr… what IS it with people????

    the nerve of someone telling you what to write on your blog is beyond the beyond!

    Reply
  30. Hyla
    July 28, 2009 at 3:19 am (8 years ago)

    love it! I recently did a similar post because I was left a comment on my "strong language".

    I completely agree, my 7 year old is not on the computer at all but even if he was he knows that language is not for him and I know he hears those words, I am not the only one that says them.

    Whatever get the fuck off my blog if you cant handle it

    Reply
  31. Garry C.
    August 8, 2009 at 7:58 am (8 years ago)

    “Last I checked, Facebook quite clearly states in their terms of service that no one under the age of 13 may use Facebook.”

    Of course, there are ways on how these 13-and-under kids get to create and use accounts on Facebook.

    “As a parent, it is your job to keep your children from reading adult content on the internet.”

    Very true. Some writers might agree to censor themselves, but that wouldn’t be enough since there are millions of other websites on the Internet.

    Reply
  32. Mitch McDad
    August 13, 2009 at 3:35 pm (8 years ago)

    I agree. Profanity has no place on blogs. Especially blogs written by adults for adults. …. Oh wait a minute. What the fuck am I writing?

    If this person was for real, and it pains me to think that this B person could be so pathetic. I much prefer to think that this was just a creative post designed to get a rise out of people. If so–well done. If not, just call this example 42,783 of why this country's inhabitants suck ass. Aside from the obvious fact that B could simply unfriendly you–problem solved–or she could simply keep her dopey kids off her FB page–seems easy enough–it shocks me that be would have the balls to ask you to tone it down. But the bigger issue is just uptight assholes like B that try to sensor life.It reminds me when all those puritans were hunting down Howard Stern when they simply could have chosen another of the 500 radio stations out there to listen to. I'm getting closer and closer to moving to Europe…..or Mars.

    Reply
  33. Joanni
    September 3, 2009 at 3:07 pm (8 years ago)

    I couldn't agree more. I recently posted a mass media article about corporate animal abuse on my wall; it came direct from Yahoo's main news page and CNN, so it was something any older teen with computer access would easily have seen anyway. It's not the sort of thing I usually post, mostly for fear of "forum/blog Nazis" like my sister, who's notoriously "sweetness and light only, please!" But in this case, it was informaiton that really needed to be disseminated, and I knew some of my animal-loving friends would have thoughts about it. Well, Sis is on my FB and she of course felt free to add a rude comment after my post. I called her on it and she began to whine about how she has children on her FB and doesn't want them seeing stuff on her wall. So I scrutinized her friends list and of course she was lying/exaggerating; there's a couple of 17-18 year olds and a college freshman. I called her on it and pointed out that if any of her other friends are younger than 13 then they are violating the TOS of FB, and that in any case it's not my job to censor myself because she can't deal with reality; and, I added, she should stop blaming the teenagers on her friends' list for her own rudeness. She put me down in a bitchy note–ironically, she told ME to "toughen up" which is a laugh and a half….and hasn't communicated since, lol. What a relief! I hope she stays away. Needless to say, I'm on your side here!!!

    Reply
  34. Elle
    September 25, 2009 at 1:39 am (8 years ago)

    You think this is bad… wait til those badly raised kids grow up and become parents themselves!

    Shit, that's not gonna be good. We're fucked!

    Reply
  35. aag
    October 9, 2009 at 3:42 am (8 years ago)

    Good for you. Awesome post and screw her for being so shallow as to defriend you.

    Reply

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