Step 1- Watch your ex make an ass of himself, in this case by locking me out of a room in the house he no longer lives in.


Step 2- Attempt to negotiate.

Step 3- When negotiation attempts are ignored, call in a professional.


Step 4- Take proper precautions to make sure problem does not occur again.


Step 5- Sit and smile as you wait for him to read your blog post and realize he’s not nearly as smart as he thinks he is.

**Update 7/28/09 7:27pm**

The threatening email from him that I *knew* would come.

Just remember there are and will be consequences for your actions. Anything, and I mean anything turns up missing from my room and you will be held responsible. You will also be responsible for putting things back as they were as well as the costs, financially of what you have done. My lawyer will have a field day with this, so thank you for documenting it so well. Have a nice day.

He is nothing if not a dedicated reader 😉

17 Comments on How to Handle An Unruly Ex

  1. steen
    July 28, 2009 at 5:37 pm (8 years ago)

    … that is awesome.

  2. Genevieve
    July 28, 2009 at 5:52 pm (8 years ago)

    Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ahhh, I'm loving it. You know — this is exactly what I did when my teen son wouldn't stop slamming his door. Didn't take long for him to appreciate the privilege of his door. He hasn't slammed it since — and it's been years. Course, I'm guessing he's much more mature at 16 than your ex. (And obviously a helluva lot more intelligent.)

    This type of asshat douchbaggery shouldn't be allowed. And what part of his actions says "dad of the year?"

    Aaarrrrghhh. This infuriates me and I'm just a reader — hang in there!

  3. The Big Blue Frog
    July 28, 2009 at 6:01 pm (8 years ago)

    Interesting solution. I liked the reciprocating saw idea better, but then you would have had sheetrock dust all of the place. This is a cleaner way of handling it, at least.

    • Suburban Oblivion
      July 28, 2009 at 6:04 pm (8 years ago)

      The new door idea was good, but the only place I could have put it had all kinds of electrical going through it, and I try to stay away from that sort of thing 😉

  4. Carla
    July 28, 2009 at 6:23 pm (8 years ago)

    Sara!! OMG
    Thanks for the laugh…and I was having a crap day but this gave me the laugh I needed!
    Perfect idea
    question though….does your current court order not give you exclusive use, possession and occupancy of the house? in other words, is he not barred from coming into the house?

  5. Suburban Oblivion
    July 28, 2009 at 6:26 pm (8 years ago)

    No, that's what he went to court to try to get and was denied. So as of right now he can come and go, but he doesn't live here.

  6. Carla
    July 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm (8 years ago)

    I've been a paralegal for 9 years and working in the family law/divorce, etc. field just as long. I wish you were going through this in Virginia so we could help you out. I don't know anything about the law in the State you live in, but its rare, I want to say I've maybe seen it only one time, that whoever is not living in the home can come and go as they please like that. Its not the common practice here in VA. Here youre court order would give you possession of the home and it wouldn't be tolerated for him to enter the home like he does. Its done that way to specifically avoid the exact kind of issues you seem to be having. I am sorry you have to continuously go through these types of things with him.
    But you seem to get stronger by the day, so just keep on keeping on and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  7. Nikki
    July 28, 2009 at 7:01 pm (8 years ago)

    Oh Sara, that's perfect!!! LOL!

  8. Priss
    July 28, 2009 at 9:07 pm (8 years ago)

    He'll have to get an order to have it put back, or pay someone to put it back. Or quit being an ass and grow the fuck up.

    I'm guessing he'll be bringing this up in court.

  9. Raychel Celeste
    July 28, 2009 at 9:19 pm (8 years ago)

    That is great! Is it wrong that I get enjoyment from these posts? Haha.. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, of course.

    • Suburban Oblivion
      July 28, 2009 at 9:26 pm (8 years ago)

      Nah, that's why I post them. Might as well laugh about it all 🙂

  10. Nikki
    July 29, 2009 at 1:31 am (8 years ago)

    Ooh, Sara, watch out for those consequences! You best make sure nothing happens to his "How to be a Fucking Whiny Pants Asshole in 30 Seconds a Day" book, or his Eau De Whiny Pants Little Boy cologne.

  11. Priss
    July 29, 2009 at 1:56 am (8 years ago)

    I kept coming back in hopes that I would get to see his response. I don't know why, but he writes a hell of a great comedy sketch.

    Oh, wait… he wasn't trying to be funny, huh?

  12. Christine
    July 29, 2009 at 10:52 pm (8 years ago)

    Hillarious! He does realize that everytime he whines to his lawyer cost him money, right? That $300/hour is something lawyers keep really good track of. Thanks for the laugh!

  13. Sarah
    July 29, 2009 at 11:18 pm (8 years ago)

    This was exactly the suggestion I was going to make! Do you think his lawyer goes home and laughs about this stuff? 'Cause I know I would. If I was his lawyer, I'd actually be (secretly) cheering you on. I guess that's why I'm a SAHM, and not a lawyer! Keep up the good fight, Sara!

  14. Trisha M.
    August 9, 2009 at 2:11 am (8 years ago)

    LOL! That's a funny way of looking at it. And your entry is complete with photos!


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