I have said before I am not cut out to raise boys, and I meant it. I keep hoping they’ll have mercy on me and quit throwing me these penis-related curve balls, but no such luck.

Only in my world do I have to explain my dear, sweet 4 1/2 year old son why it is NOT ok to try to get the dog to give your pee-pee kisses. Being before 7:30am the best I could come up with as I stood there hyperventilating was that we don’t let anyone else touch our pee-pees, and that includes the dogs.

It’s officially a race to see who needs therapy first, me or the kids.

23 Comments on The Penis Thing, Again.

  1. Natalie
    April 19, 2008 at 8:54 am (9 years ago)

    I hear ya.

    Believe it or not, you are not alone in that world. We don’t have a dog, but my boy is umm, *inventive* too.

  2. ~JJ!
    April 19, 2008 at 10:48 am (9 years ago)

    Oh goodness…Boys do start young don’t they?

    I am laughing though…Sorry.

  3. Mrs. Schmitty
    April 19, 2008 at 10:58 am (9 years ago)

    Oh Boys and their privates….it’s never ending. I can’t stand it! Lately, W. has his hands down his pants CONSTANTLY. I went to kiss him goodnight the other night and I saw movement under his covers. I told him in no certain terms that I would not kiss him until his hands were in sight. He thinks it’s hilarious! I believe that will change in a few years.

  4. Paul OFlaherty
    April 19, 2008 at 11:43 am (9 years ago)

    As one of those boy types let me tell you that this is normal. We under go a love/hate relationship with our penises until we hit puberty.

    There will be times when he’ll just want to pull the thing off and throw it in the bin.. that is, until he pulls it the right way.. then he’ll never want to let go 😉

  5. Average Jane
    April 19, 2008 at 12:14 pm (9 years ago)

    Ha! Well, there’s plenty of time to rescind the necessary portions of that statement much, much later. 😉

  6. Cheryl
    April 19, 2008 at 3:03 pm (9 years ago)

    First – it’s great to see you post again.

    Second – my boy of the same age has been finding wood in his pants recently. He keeps wanting to show me and I keep explaining that he needs to keep that something private.

    It’s amazing what these boy creatures can come up with!

  7. Summer
    April 19, 2008 at 11:03 pm (9 years ago)

    Once they find their best friend, well it just doesn’t end. My 4 year old walks around holding himself all day. It’s like a little, cute, Al Bundy. Sheesh!

  8. Mr Business Golf
    April 20, 2008 at 8:29 am (9 years ago)

    PLEASE…Please…do not tell me your dog is a Pit-Bull..Please! and also, Please do not tell me that your next post is going to be on your dog being gay… Just kidding…I forwarded your blog to my daughter who also has a 4 1/2 year old boy full of pee-pee questions. I am sure she will relate..

  9. Becky
    April 20, 2008 at 8:39 am (9 years ago)

    As a mother of 3 boys all under the age of 6 I can so relate to this post! I am forever telling them they can’t walk around with thier hands down thier pants. I am forever telling them they have to do that in private. Just the other day they wanted me to tell them who was bigger. Still at a loss for words for that!

  10. Lynette
    April 20, 2008 at 9:51 am (9 years ago)

    **bangs head on desk** See, THAT is exactly why I’m afraid of boys (men I can handle). My little boy is 5 1/2 months old and you’ve just added one more bullet point to the list of nightmares I have.

  11. Jamie E
    April 20, 2008 at 1:58 pm (9 years ago)

    I find my self saying “quit touching yourself” far more often than I EVER planned. I guess I should just count my lucky stars that we have no pets.

  12. MammaLoves
    April 20, 2008 at 7:21 pm (9 years ago)

    Me with the three boys and this happened to you first. That is the funniest damned thing I’ve heard all day!! So sorry.

  13. Meg
    April 20, 2008 at 7:32 pm (9 years ago)

    Funny post! I bet you go to therapy first!

  14. Cassey
    April 20, 2008 at 10:50 pm (9 years ago)

    It starts at birth and doesn’t end until the day they die. I asked my then 3 year old what he wanted for his fourth birthday and he said “An even huger pee-pee!”

  15. Jerseygirl89
    April 21, 2008 at 8:52 am (9 years ago)

    Oh wow – I think that was a great answer, actually.

    Right now, I’m so glad that we don’t have a dog.

  16. cate
    April 21, 2008 at 10:05 am (9 years ago)

    oh. my. God! i’m laughing…and at the same time i’m scared out of my fucking mind! i could SO see Logan doing that when he’s older…..thank God we don’t have a dog!!!

  17. Shauna
    April 22, 2008 at 1:44 pm (9 years ago)

    Paul’s comment has me dying over here!

    Has your son yet realized that the dog ‘kisses’ his own penis? Yeah, that was a fun conversation I had with Nicholas…

  18. slackermommy
    April 25, 2008 at 3:57 pm (9 years ago)

    I also get all weirded out by the penis thing. Thankfully I’ve only got one boy and he hasn’t figured out how good doggy penis licks feel.

  19. Rhea
    April 25, 2008 at 10:17 pm (9 years ago)

    I’m so glad you posted this story. I thought I was the only one who had boys doing inappropriate things like that! lol Boys are so fun to raise…and quite a challenge at times as well, if you’re not used to them. I didn’t grow up with boys in my household, so now having two boys, I’ve learned a lot quickly.

    Everything is a contest in my house. EVERYTHING. Who can get to the kitchen fastest…who can eat their food fastest…who can be first to pick out which pancake they want…etc. It’s never ending. At least the dog is female.

  20. NukeDad
    April 25, 2008 at 11:02 pm (9 years ago)

    I think Mr. Business Golf may be on to something; does the dog lift his leg to pee, or squat? If he squats, you may have issues.

    Nukie Howser
    Blog Hoppin


Leave a Reply