A little under a month ago I posted about the Mardi Gras ball coming up on the 30th. For those that don’t remember, I had a *teeny* little problem with a dress 2 sizes too small. I decided to try to lose 20lbs in 25 days, and squeeze myself into that dress again. I’ve had a lot of well-wishes and inquiries about it since, and since the day is nearly here, I guess its time to answer- did I succeed?

No. And yes. Sort of.

Clear as mud, right?

Long story short, I lost almost 10lbs. Right up until 2 days ago. At which point the crankiness and the bloating started. Practically overnight, I gained back nearly 5 of the 10lbs I’d lost. Nature seems to have quite the sense of humor, in that I have short cycles, between 21-23 days. Which would be fabulous if I were trying to get pregnant, what with several extra cycles a year. (Aren’t you jealous?) But I’m not. And so in this case all it means is that the one month I am really trying to keep the weight off, I’m having my period and all the eating and bloating it entails, TWICE. Wtf????

Not to be conquered by my ridiculous cycles or an uncooperative dress, I decided I’d not given up this fight yet. I set out to Kohl’s, and picked up the modern day equivalent of a corset, only much, much uglier. I don’t know how to describe it, except its like grandma underwear attached to this really tight waist thing that goes up to right under my bra. It smooths everything out except right at the hip, so I had to buy a second contraption to go under the first, and these are like really long, tight boyshorts. There’s going to be more Lycra under that dress than a Vegas hooker convention, but by god the rolls shall be tamed and the gown shall zip.

As long as I don’t have to breathe or pee for 4 hours I should be just fine.

36 Comments on Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way (Or a Hell of a Lot of Spandex)

  1. Crystal D
    January 28, 2008 at 10:10 pm (10 years ago)

    Oh your body is going to love you when you take that off at the end of the night. I have poured myself into just that kind of contraption before and it is like HEAVEN when it comes off.

  2. Violet the Verbose
    January 28, 2008 at 10:42 pm (10 years ago)

    Hee hee hee hee – I always wondered if there was a second contraption to tame the hips. Hats off to you for finding it! I applaud you for not giving up on wearing the dress. Yeah! Will there be pictures so you can show us your triumph?

  3. Whymommy
    January 28, 2008 at 10:45 pm (10 years ago)

    Congrats on losing the 10 pounds … maybe they will come off again as water weight? Have a GREAT time all dressed up!

  4. Bananas
    January 29, 2008 at 1:25 am (10 years ago)

    Sara you realize we’re gonna need to see a picture of you in that dress, right? RIGHT?!?! 😉

    Congrats on the 10 pounds. You are my hero.

  5. JaniceNW
    January 29, 2008 at 2:02 am (10 years ago)

    It is fabulous you lost 10 lbs. YEAH you! I’m super sorry you have short cycles and all that goes with that.
    I wore some of the spanx lycra sucker in pantyhose(and it came up right under my bra though I think that is cuz I be short waisted) for the Christmas dinner. Ya know I just hate getting dressed up.

    You will look fabulous!!!!

    I am having first period in 4 years and I’m a raging bitch. My 16yo almost convinced McHub to run away with him. You must be kinder going through 3 periods in just over 2 months.

  6. ~JJ!
    January 29, 2008 at 6:18 am (10 years ago)

    Spanx woman, Spanx…they RULE.

  7. Christina
    January 29, 2008 at 7:16 am (10 years ago)

    I have to second the Spanx. They’re awesome, and they make one that will go from lower thigh all the way up to the bra line. Takes forever to squeeze yourself in, but the results are fabulous. And if you have to pee, the crotch opens so you can do that, too.

    Congrats on losing the 10 lbs., too! You know that 5 pounds will fall right off again after your period.

  8. In the Trenches of Mommyhood
    January 29, 2008 at 9:16 am (10 years ago)

    You crack me up! You didn’t mention though if you can even MOVE in all that “underarmor”!
    Oh, who cares. Just stand there and look fabulous!

  9. ali
    January 29, 2008 at 10:10 am (10 years ago)

    i’ll second the spanx!

  10. Maddy
    January 29, 2008 at 10:17 am (10 years ago)

    Four hours? That’s way beyond my capacity, best of luck dearie.

  11. Natalie
    January 29, 2008 at 10:28 am (10 years ago)

    You better post a pic! Congratulations on the weight loss, that’s quite a bit for a month!

  12. Summer
    January 29, 2008 at 10:30 am (10 years ago)

    Oh goodness! So glad I don’t have anywhere to go that requires fancy dress. LOL You better share photos!

  13. justmylife
    January 29, 2008 at 10:47 am (10 years ago)

    We will all be waiting for the pics. I hope you don’t have to bend over for anything or you could hurt yourself or those around you! Congrats on the 10 pounds, I wish I could lose it if only for a few days. Have fun!

  14. Paul OFlaherty
    January 29, 2008 at 2:06 pm (10 years ago)

    I know you’ll look great.. just have a good time and enjoy the party 😉

  15. Amy S.
    January 29, 2008 at 4:06 pm (10 years ago)

    It is better to look good than to feel good, my friend.

  16. Donna
    January 29, 2008 at 7:00 pm (10 years ago)

    Been there, done that — way too many times.

    Congrats on losing 10 (that extra 5 is just water — you know that, right?) Now, give yourself a couple of months to lose the rest in a healthy manner and you can get rid of the horrid corsety thing.

  17. Jerseygirl89
    January 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm (10 years ago)

    I think you need to congratulate yourself on the 10 lbs, buy some fat free chocolate pudding for the cycle and practice with the Spanx-y stuff – that stuff is tough on the body.

    But I still can’t wait to see pictures!

  18. Nola
    January 29, 2008 at 8:33 pm (10 years ago)

    Oh, yeah. Welcome to my life these days. Seven months post-pregnant and still living in spandex. God bless it, but UGH it is uncomfortable!

    Have fun!

  19. J
    January 30, 2008 at 9:54 am (10 years ago)

    I don’t want to sound like a nay-sayer, but I’ve done this one too many times, and had a crappy evening because I’m in frikkin pain. If it were me (AND IT’S NOT, I DO GET THAT), I would go out and buy a new dress, one that I could wear without the misery. Sigh.

    10 lbs in 25 days? You rock!

  20. Amy
    January 30, 2008 at 10:30 am (10 years ago)

    God speed lol The compression feeling that follows after taking off those crazy contraptions is insane.

  21. shuey6
    January 30, 2008 at 4:23 pm (10 years ago)

    I had a similar situation with my wedding dress (15 years ago) — the spandex is a LOT better now!

    I’ve heard those herbal body wraps work for a temporary fix, too.

  22. Nissa
    January 31, 2008 at 2:12 pm (10 years ago)

    Been there, done that!

    So how did it go? Was the ball a blast?

  23. Shauna Loves Chocolate
    January 31, 2008 at 7:48 pm (10 years ago)

    Congrats on the 10 pounds. And I, too, want to see a picture of you in the dress! Hope the ball was a blast!

  24. Shauna Loves Chocolate
    January 31, 2008 at 7:48 pm (10 years ago)

    p.s. I’m almost positive that when I commented on the original post that you had your period I said, “That means you won’t have your period at the time of the ball!” Which, now, I am SO SORRY for saying.

  25. Jamie E
    January 31, 2008 at 9:43 pm (10 years ago)

    totally do the spanx thing with the crotch thing!!!

  26. Mrs. Who
    February 1, 2008 at 10:57 am (10 years ago)

    When we went to my husband’s office Christmas party a few years ago, I had gained a couple of pounds and had to wear this black, long stretchy undergarment that made my dress look good but was almost impossible to get on and off. I almost hurt myself in the bathroom stall forcing that thing back up over my hips. So glad nobody could see me!

  27. FoodieToo
    February 1, 2008 at 10:02 pm (10 years ago)

    I have totally been there before, stay strong.
    I have heard that spanx are the way to go.

    Blog Hopping
    Anastasia Beaverhousin

  28. Stacey
    February 2, 2008 at 11:07 pm (10 years ago)

    Necessity is the mother of invention! (Wondering if that’s why moms get stuck with all the uncomfortable contraptions?) Hope all goes well!

    Happy Blog Hoppin’!
    “Margarita Mom”

  29. Lela
    February 4, 2008 at 12:56 am (10 years ago)

    Mwahaha, I feel your pain! I went to a formal party two months after giving birth to my first. Imagine all that plus milk engorged boobs! Good. Times.

  30. moodswingingmommy
    February 5, 2008 at 1:52 pm (10 years ago)

    Congrats on losing 10 lbs! Pictures, we want pictures!

  31. Mrs. Schmitty
    February 6, 2008 at 12:32 pm (10 years ago)

    Spanx is life. I hope you have a great time, I’m sure you will look great. You have to post a pic.

  32. Worker Mommy
    February 6, 2008 at 4:36 pm (10 years ago)

    How’d that work out for ya ?

  33. Jamie E
    February 6, 2008 at 10:29 pm (10 years ago)

    Hey ! I know your busy n stuff…….so TAG!

  34. MammaLoves
    February 6, 2008 at 10:52 pm (10 years ago)

    Dude!! That sounds hot!!

    I’m with AB BAN…I want photos!!

  35. VDog
    February 9, 2008 at 1:34 am (10 years ago)

    Oh, Sara. I hope you didn’t have to eat anything! Teehee.


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