You know, there is one thing I truly love about my readers here- you just never know what you are going to get. I can post something I like, or think is funny, and sometimes it will go over well, sometimes it will bomb. Then I can post something like yesterday that I could have told you exactly where it would go, and *BOOM* people take it so far into left field I wonder if we are even still talking about the same post. I was tempted yesterday to jump in and address certain things, but the truth is I don’t want to lead anyone anywhere when it comes to the discussions. I like the honesty of the comments as they come, good or bad.

Let me address one question right up front, because I think this is where things trailed off. Nowhere, as far as I can tell, did I ever say anything about the email being from a real blogger. The email came from someone who found me listed on a link sale site I joined when I first started thinking about monetizing my blog and then never did anything with. So in short, not only was this not anyone who had even read my blog before, they also decided to skip right over attempting to use that site as it should have been, and tried to get the linkage for free instead. If you were selling something on Ebay, and someone looked you up, called you at home, and asked if you could exchange your item A for their (worth nothing) item B, how would you feel? This is NO different. I would have taken a much, MUCH different approach had this person been a real blogger who was in my genre and had stumbled on me somewhere. Or even if they didn’t write on the same topic, but had attempted to build a relationship with me. But they weren’t, and they didn’t. This was a spammer, pure and simple, and so I treated them accordingly. Any ideas that this was some poor newbie mommyblogger that I was being horrible and picking on were due to the ASSumptions of commenters who very obviously don’t read me regularly enough to know thats not how I operate. I don’t mind helping out other bloggers where I can, and have always been quick to help those who have asked for help and advice, and even purposely gave linkage to a bloggy friend who lost her Pagerank due to the big Google crackdown on PayPerPost. I hate PPP, but because I value her as a friend and reader, I did what I could to help. Call me a bitch all you want, but I think my relationship with my readers stands on it own, and that is what is important to me.

As far as the threat that I lost readers over this..what can I say to that? Readers come and readers go. I myself change up my Google Reader subscriptions on a pretty regular basis. Those that like my stuff and feel a connection with me will stay, and those that don’t will not. I don’t see it any different as real life friendships, in that the relationship with a reader is ever-evolving. I certainly hope no one stalked off in a huff over their own assumptions on my topic, but if they did, chances are we didn’t have a good rapport to begin with, and in that case I wish them the best.

33 Comments on Shedding a Little Light

  1. Christina
    January 24, 2008 at 7:15 am (10 years ago)

    See, I figured it was a spam comment from the very beginning. I didn’t think you’d trash some new mommyblogger for fun. You’ve blasted spam PR e-mails on here before, and I knew this had to be some spam comment, too.

    I took down my blogroll last year specifically because I got tired of people asking me to link to them, or worse – ANGRY because I didn’t link to them in my blogroll! No thanks, too much stress there, and I don’t blog to give myself more stress. Buh-bye, blogroll!

    (LMAO over people trying to improve their PageRank by spam e-mails begging for links, only because I seem to have offended the Google Gods and lost all of my PageRank – from 4 to 0. No idea what I did – maybe I should send out some e-mails?)

    Reply
  2. becky
    January 24, 2008 at 7:29 am (10 years ago)

    Wow I can’t believe the way people acted yesterday! I read the post but didn’t have time to comment. I knew just by reading that post that it was from a spammer! You like to post about spam you get and I at least always get a good laugh at them with you! Goes to show that people comment without reading and without thinking! And some of them don’t even know you as a blogger.

    Reply
  3. angeljoy
    January 24, 2008 at 7:39 am (10 years ago)

    Thank you for the further information. It shed a lot of light for me. I fortunately have not dealt with a lot of spam, so I’m rather naive about a lot of blogging issues. At first, I was a bit surprised at the apparent harshness I perceived, but began to understand when I realized it involved spam. I have to say that I appreciate your writing- I like the frankness. I’ll be back soon.

    Reply
  4. krissy
    January 24, 2008 at 8:23 am (10 years ago)

    This make me feel a whole lot more secure with blogging. I’m still scarred to see that there are a list of things people do and don’t like however, I will have to try to remember the list.

    I applaud you for approaching the issue at hand yesterday and clearing things up! For new bloggers like myself, I was confused on what the “f” was going on. I myself lay things out and speak my mind on a lot of crap and I must add that I probably wounldn’t have handled better then you.

    I hope you understand that I was more concerned that it was me who broke the blog law and I will be finding bloggy friends with a more sceptical eye which I should have been doing in the first place. Whatever issues happened yesterday I do feel that you cleared it up and I hope you don’t mind me stopping by now and then still!

    Reply
  5. Summer
    January 24, 2008 at 8:29 am (10 years ago)

    Wow, people actually threatened to stop reading here? Were they going to take their toys and go home?

    Reply
  6. ~JJ!
    January 24, 2008 at 8:31 am (10 years ago)

    So well put, as usual…And I’m not even trying to kiss your ass dearey.

    Love you always!

    Reply
  7. justmylife
    January 24, 2008 at 8:34 am (10 years ago)

    People can make a big deal out of nothing. I am glad you shedded light on the fact this was spam, maybe that will get a few people off their high horse. I have only been at this for a few months and I appreciate learning from the “long time” bloggers. I was unaware of this type of spam and would have most likely fallen for it in hopes of getting more “traffic” on my site. I know now to be careful of spam. I learned an important lesson today. I will be back, I have been reading your blog for a few weeks and even I, being new here, realized you weren’t just being a bitch. I have had a great experience with most of the people I have come across and found that they can be very helpful when you are just learning. Heres hoping that one post doesn’t hurt all the great post you have done in the past and will do in the future.

    Reply
  8. An Iowa Mom
    January 24, 2008 at 8:40 am (10 years ago)

    I, too, was surprised to see how people reacted to your post yesterday. First of all, this is your blog … and you can write what you want. That’s the point.

    We all think and handle situations in different ways.

    That’s what makes this whole BLOG thing fabulous!

    I for one, will keep on reading … and respect you more now than I did before.

    😉

    Reply
  9. Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants
    January 24, 2008 at 8:56 am (10 years ago)

    Sara,

    I must say, I was shocked at the reaction you recieved.

    I assumed your email was from a spammer.

    Then I wanted to put in a few words about “blogging for beginners” in a funny way. Sheesh!

    Seriously, People should know some of these things! Like, if you have music blaring, then no one will come back.

    If, when I started blogging, I had known these things, I wouldn’t have made such a fool out of myself.

    Also, I stand by my original statement- No one cares about every. single. boring. detail. of. life!

    I once read a “big blogger” who said, “As long as you are not blogging about what you ate for breakfast, or what your kids did all day -you’ll get readers.”

    Some bloggers are such gifted writers that discussing these things are facinating. I, for one, am not that talented! 😉

    Anyhoo, glad to keep the discussion going. I think it is an important one!

    Love, Fussy

    Reply
  10. ImpostorMom
    January 24, 2008 at 8:59 am (10 years ago)

    Oh the drama. Interesting how things can get so blown out of proportion on the basis of one person making an assumption. I didn’t think your original post was all that bad especially since it seemed to be a spammer email to begin with. I get the weird spam comments on my blog but every once in a while their will be one that will almost seem like it’s from a real person but when I investigate it’s always some spam blog.

    Like you said, I doubt any readers that really have a rapport with your blog left over something so trivial.

    Reply
  11. Sleeping Mommy
    January 24, 2008 at 9:45 am (10 years ago)

    Is it me? Or is there just something in the water this month? I’ve seen several big blow ups and misunderstandings lately. I’m glad you took the time to try to clear this up. I hope this will mean an amicable end to a total misunderstanding.

    Reply
  12. Miss
    January 24, 2008 at 11:22 am (10 years ago)

    I’m glad that you posted this and I only wish you would have mentioned yesterday that this was the case. You are right, you never said it was from a real blogger. But you didn’t say that it wasn’t either. I guess that just goes to show that you and some of your readers shouldn’t ASSume that not everyone recognizes this type of spam.

    As for blogging commandments? Just silly. I think the only thing that bloggers who want readers should go by is “You comment, I follow.” These other things that some people think are important are just stupid. If the person is a good writer and has auto music, then I’ll just turn down my speakers when I go to their site. I WONT stop reading over something so petty such as layout, music or the other rediculous things some people listed. I read for content, not for all that other crap.

    Reply
  13. mikster
    January 24, 2008 at 11:39 am (10 years ago)

    I heard about this last night and read the post. As I don’t know you I refrained from commenting but I can also relate to some of the comments that were made. You probably should have made it clearer that it was definite spam. I didn’t take it that way myself, I thought it was a well intentioned new blogger who had emailed you. I’m glad you did this follow up post though. Hopefully this will clear things up with others. It did for me.

    Reply
  14. LunaNik
    January 24, 2008 at 12:06 pm (10 years ago)

    I said in my comments yesterday that I would eat my words if I was wrong. And so, I have.

    But, let me just say in defense of us newbie bloggers who took that post out of context…

    Wha? Link sale sites, pagerank, Google crackdowns on PPP…you may as well be speaking Chinese. I just recently aquired a feedburner but still don’t know what the hell it’s for, I have no idea what my page rank is or if it really matters, and have never heard of a link sale site.

    So, understand, that to someone like me, who doesn’t know the lengths people will go to to spam a blog for reasons of monetization, your post yesterday seemed way harsh. Of course I am going to ASSume it was a blogger emailing you. In my mind, there was no other choice.

    Call it naive, call it ignorant, call it just plain stupid if you wish. Just know that not everyone has the same knowledge of the “blogging commandments” that you have, that some of us are still learning as we go along. Your words, thought they were perfectly reasonable to you, came off differently to those of us who have not yet been schooled.

    So, I guess this has been a learning experience for all involved. You learned how easily your words and their intended meaning can be twisted, and I learned a little something about spam, making ASSumptions, and that apparently, blogging has a lot more to do with making money than I thought.

    Reply
  15. Queen of Shake Shake
    January 24, 2008 at 12:11 pm (10 years ago)

    There are some people from yesterday that seriously need to go get laid.

    For real peoples.

    GO. GET. LAID.

    Instead of showing your ass on a blog, go show it to someone special in your bedroom….perhaps they’ll care to see it.

    Reply
  16. Karen Sugarpants
    January 24, 2008 at 12:43 pm (10 years ago)

    Glad for the clarification, bitch.
    😛
    xo

    Reply
  17. Amanda
    January 24, 2008 at 1:15 pm (10 years ago)

    MY darling sara. These are the reasons I love you. I think it is quite funny that people get so emotional over someone’s blog, someone’s opinion. It amazes me. I’m not a blogger, but I too assumed that it was a spammer. Anyone who has read your blog, even a newbie who may have only read one or two posts, can see that you’re not a mean spirited person. You aren’t a bitch for the sake of being a bitch, so for some of the people that jumped in your shit yesterday, probably hadn’t read much of your other stuff, and quite frankly, probably saw a little smoke and felt the need to fan the fire. So there. I love you, and miss you terribly..
    ps. I see why you are friends with The Queen.. she and i were on the same page… SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET LAID!!
    also.. i rambled… so sue me!

    Reply
  18. Huckdoll
    January 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm (10 years ago)

    I said it in my comments to you and I’ll say it again…

    You lost me at ASS.

    ASSumption? What a geek. Rock it though. You’re fan club is gettin’ off on it.

    You are officially the lamest blogger I’ve ever read. Is there an award for THAT? You’d be my top nom – sara @ SO.

    Reply
  19. Christine
    January 24, 2008 at 1:47 pm (10 years ago)

    Gulp…jumping in.

    I’d like to shed a bit more light for newbie bloggers, of which I am one even though my blog’s over a year old now.

    I’ve broken a lot of those “commandments,” and certainly many others. I know for a fact I’m breaking at least a couple right now (my cre8 page has auto music! It annoys me, too, yet I leave it on!). And you know what? Some of the bloggers in yesterday’s comments who were called bitches for laying down suggestions still come to my blog every day, and are truly some of the kindest, most generous people I have ever had the good fortune to get to know.

    This is just to say that the “commandments” and other “rules” were really meant to be humorously worded suggestions via a list of personal bloggy pet peaves, at least for the bloggers I know and interact with regularly. I suspect it’s true of all of them.

    Reply
  20. Karen Sugarpants
    January 24, 2008 at 3:32 pm (10 years ago)

    Huckdoll – you jumped to a conclusion yesterday and now you sound like even more of an ASS.

    Reply
  21. Ramblin' Red
    January 24, 2008 at 3:42 pm (10 years ago)

    Wow – what a wild ride. (btw – Sara it’s Heather – hamiam – Redheaded Stepchild – long story on the name change)

    Anywho, I just wanted to say that I’m not a regular poster, or even reader – but Sara’s been very helpful to me and was great when I (a mommyblogger, not a spammer) was looking to do a link exchange with her last year – she knows what she’s doin’ ya’ll!

    Reply
  22. Queen of Shake Shake
    January 24, 2008 at 3:57 pm (10 years ago)

    Methinks someone whose name rhymes with “fuck y’all” has some maturity issues. And crap, coming from ME, the queen of maturity, that’s saying a lot.

    I also think the one whose name rhymes with “suck balls” probably has mental issues commonly associated with TROLLS.

    I’ve often heard that TROLLS don’t get laid enough.

    Reply
  23. Queen of Spain
    January 24, 2008 at 4:12 pm (10 years ago)

    I am cracking up at the bruhahaha.

    Seriously.

    I get like 3-4 of those email a week-they never spell my name right and are always SPAM. I’d call it out too.

    And Sara is right-you don’t ask for links…you earn them.

    Queen of SS-maybe we need to start an “F a Troll” initiative. You know, for the greater good.

    Rock on Sara.

    Reply
  24. BusyDad
    January 24, 2008 at 4:16 pm (10 years ago)

    People People… You’re all being just as ignorant by jumping all over HuckDoll and assuming she’s a troll. Do you know her? Have you read her? Have ever once conversed with her? I have. And I have nothing but the utmost respect for her. She DOES care about people. She IS gracious. And she is a genuinely nice person – which is the ONLY reason she jumped all over that first post. Talk to her and come back and tell me she’s a bitch/troll. I guarantee you won’t. She simply felt that a smaller blogger was being bullied by a bigger blogger and she felt that was wrong. I see no crime in that. In fact I very much admire it. I’m sure if the ASS wasn’t capitalized (which is simply egging someone on), this would have been squashed right there. Let’s all just grow up and take care of our children, not act like them. Actually, I don’t even think our kids would act like this. We all love our kids, love to write about our lives, and love connecting with others about it. That is ALL that matters. Who cares about page rank? Do you really make THAT much money on your blog? My profession is SEO/SEM/Online marketing and I can tell you definitively, NO. There are a few exceptions, and you are not them. Everybody take a deep breath, smile and big hug. OK? Ok.

    Reply
  25. Queen of Shake Shake
    January 24, 2008 at 7:19 pm (10 years ago)

    Did I ASSume someone was a troll?

    I think BusyDad misunderstands. I said someone whose name rhymes with “Schmuck Hall” exhibits behavior commonly seen in trolls. Whether she is a troll or isn’t, well who really cares. We shouldn’t feed the crazies either way.

    Reply
  26. Ramblin' Red
    January 24, 2008 at 8:57 pm (10 years ago)

    I have to say – the issue of context is a valid one (a la LunaNik pointed out) and so I can see where some of the initial “concerns” came from. I am concerned most about the jumping down the throats of those lacking context by the friends and defenders, though. Kind of juvenile – passive aggressive, etc. I don’t have an issue with Sara – but some of the comments, on both sides, have gotten a bit extreme for my tastes.

    Reply
  27. Dawn
    January 24, 2008 at 10:07 pm (10 years ago)

    well then… 🙂 one helluva a way to find your site, I think I’ll stick around for a while … off to subscribe 🙂

    Reply
  28. JaniceNW
    January 24, 2008 at 11:03 pm (10 years ago)

    I don’t understand the extreme anger I saw displayed yesterday. Why did people get to be such haterz?

    I’m not kidding, I do not understand the enmity.

    Reply
  29. Redneck Mommy
    January 25, 2008 at 12:37 pm (10 years ago)

    One damn day without internet and I miss all the action.

    Sheesh. There are some angry, bitter people out there. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

    I’d have had your back if I knew about it.

    Cuz I woooov you.

    Reply
  30. Amy
    January 25, 2008 at 4:10 pm (10 years ago)

    I think that sometimes it’s hard for newer bloggers and people who don’t make a living from blogging or even from internet use, to understand the frequency of spam link exchange requests. To newer members of the blogging field and even newer people to the “big wide world” of the net it can be hard to comprehend that people aren’t necessarily out to make friends and scratch everyone’s backs. PR and back-links are hard work to get, diluting your own blog and hard work to just give away something to someone who wants nothing more than higher PR or back-links is just not something that makes business sense, nice or not it’s the way it is.

    Reply
  31. Julie Pippert
    January 25, 2008 at 6:21 pm (10 years ago)

    Hmm, I saw a few comments but guess it went way off.

    This is interesting because it dovetails with my post today about a social media conference I went to yesterday. It’s some of these ‘using the channels as marketing’ issues I’ve been pondering.

    In the conference, people were very open to this type of thing, but I had my doubts (with your post from the other day in mind).

    Reply
  32. Babyamore (Trish)
    January 28, 2008 at 5:39 am (10 years ago)

    I can see who does this on my blog comments – now I understand a bit more.
    Sad – if they left. I lost 6 readers yesterday maybe it was because I blogged and asked about why people didn’t comment.
    Anyway I checked out your favourite post suggestions – all good – hysterical and honest. Count me in.

    Reply

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