I’ve noticed being a mom is like juggling. Each child is a ball, and with each one you have to have to work to keep them balanced with each other, and with the rest of the balls you are juggling- the spouse, the home, the finances, the job, the family, the activities. Adding in depression is like trying to continue to juggle it all, but blindfolded.
I was feeling really good when I wrote my last post. The blindfold was gone, and I felt like I had all my balls in the air, so to speak. I have been happier, my kids have been happier, even my husband has been happier seeing the house looking better, me feeling better, and things overall being calmer here. We spent some time alone last night laughing and enjoying each other’s company like we haven’t in some time.
Today another ball dropped.
Seems in my recent fog I made some mistakes, and failed to keep a good eye on the checking account. We agreed awhile back that would be one of my responsibilities, and this is not the first time I’ve screwed things up. Unfortunately this screwup is going to cost us a lot of money. I am so beyond upset right now. the ex is so mad at me it’s not even funny, and I can’t blame him a bit. We go to Orlando every year for our one vacation, and I may have put that in jeopardy with this.
The only possible redeemer right now is I subbed for the first time at my boys’ preschool, and apparently did really well with it. I’m told once you get your foot in the door they will call you to work more often. I went in to the director earlier and told her I’ll take as many days as they will give me, so please keep me in mind when teachers call out. The pay isn’t outstanding, but it’s work, and I can bring my boys with me when I am there and drop them in with their teachers even if it isn’t their usual days. No nights, no weekends, no eating into family time.
Do me a favor and cross your fingers they call me often, this is one ball I have got to get back in the air.