Gabrielle started back to school today, her first day as a big fourth grader. She was so excited she didn’t even remember to kiss me goodbye, and I
waited until she was out of sight to cry with joy shed a tear because I’d miss her so.
The day flew by, and when she came home I opened her backpack to see what mound of paperwork awaited me. Seems they have cut down a bit this year, and all I found instead was the list of class rules and procedure. It took me a minute to realize what was so different about this years list over previous ones…This one was THREE full pages long! Whoa! What on earth could be so important?
The teacher has no kids of her own.
Seems like an odd conclusion to come to over a 3 page list, right? It wasn’t the length my friends, but the content. Half of it was not classroom rules, but things that we as parents should be doing at home. Cute, idealistic little ditties like these…
# 14. Allow your child to help in the kitchen. This will help with their math skills and reinforce ideas like weighing and measuring.
#18. Read with your child every night.
#19. Take your child shopping with you so they can learn about budgeting and counting money.
# 21. (I shit you not) Include your child in conversations, and do not be afraid to use words you feel they may not understand, this will help increase their vocabularies.
Anyone else shaking their heads right now?
Aside from the fact that I actually do know she has no children, it was glaringly obvious the minute she suggests we should encourage our children to be in the kitchen with us. Trust me, Gabrielle often volunteers to “help” me, and when I do let her, she sits and asks a million questions, second-guesses the way I do things, spills things, and more often than not ends up fighting with her brothers over who gets to hold the items. The only thing she’s learned thus far is how high she needs to reach over her brother’s head as he screams so he can’t reach the egg precariously balanced in her hand. Will that improve her math skills?
As for the others, I can only assume she has never tried to spend an evening helping with homework, making dinner, cleaning up, bathing and showering three children and getting two of them down as to spend 30 minutes of ‘quality time’ with a child who would much rather be playing her latest Pokemon game. She has been reading on her own since Kindergarten, and has not since expressed a desire for me to read books along with her.
And as far as the taking her shopping, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It was such a wonderful experience taking three kids shopping that I fully intend to offload them onto said teacher one afternoon so SHE can enjoy the educational excursion for herself. How do you think the sweet-but-clueless one would do with a 9 year old and very active 4 and 2 year olds for an hour and a half in Walmart?
I’d bet money that one would never again show up on her suggested list of rules! 😉