I was afraid to jinx it by blogging about it, but we had a MUCH better day yesterday. Nothing broken, no one beating the snot out of each other, no yelling. Ok, a tiny bit of yelling, but not even enough to count. Just a great, great day.
Why does it always happen that way? Tuesday night I sat in this very chair at 1am crying my eyes out thinking I was the most horrible parent ever, and how on earth could I manage another 16 years of this?? Then I have a fantastic day where it goes 90% right, and I felt like a million bucks.
Bi-polar? As much as I felt like it, no. It’s just the way of being a mommy. It’s amazing how everything we do, everything we ARE is tied up in our children. With a look, a smile, a weed picked in the yard and given with the enthusiasm that makes you cherish it above rubies they can lift us up and put us on top of the world. Then just as that pedestal starts to get comfortable, they knock us down with equal vigor, making us doubt ourselves to the core of our being. To call motherhood a roller coaster is like calling childbirth a little painful. You just cannot know the depths of it until you are there.
The trip can drive you crazy, but if you can survive it, it is so worth the drive.