I went grocery shopping this morning, and it was a typical trip for us. I forgot several things, spent more than I planned, and the 2 year old was his usual pain in the ass lovely 2 year old self. Then as we went to check out, the trip became blogworthy. Only in my world right?

I got in line, and as usual there were only 2 checkout lines open- one normal, one 10 Items or Less. Having a family of 5, I can’t even buy toilet paper and be 10 Items or Less, it just never happens. So I get in the regular lane, only to have the 10 Items or Less lady wave me over.  It was only about 9:45am at this point, so I guess because they weren’t busy she was trying to be helpful and move things along. I applaud her good intentions, I really do. She meant well. I felt guilty stepping into that express line with a cart full of groceries, but no one was behind me, and I started loading as quickly as I could. Besides, she told me to right? Then it happens. An elderly man comes up behind me with his hand basket and only 3 or 4 items in it. He glared at me and looked up at the sign, as if to point out that my cartload was clearly not meant to be in this lane. What could I do?? She had already started ringing me up, I couldn’t stop the process to let him through, though I would have if it meant he’d quit with the dirty looks…Which he gave me…Repeatedly. I felt so awful, and naturally Damian was ready to get out of the cart and was making a real point of verbalizing this. I loaded as fast as I could, and before I know it there are 3 people in line behind me, luckily none of them were giving me the Geriatric Glare like the one behind me. I made an overly loud comment to the checkout girl about how she’d called me to that line at a bad time, because for some odd reason I really, really felt the need to explain myself to these people. The old man with the laserbeam eyeballs responded by putting his hand basket on the belt, even though I was clearly only 2/3 of the way done, causing him to have to move it back every time I went to put more stuff up there. I was VERY relieved when I got everything up there, and hurried around to the end of the lane to load everything.(In addition to being short checkers, they were apparently short bag boys.) As I am loading the girl stops me and tells me they wil have to call a manager over. Oh for the love of all that is holy, what now??? It seems I have too much stuff for the inside of the buggy, and they are no longer allowed to put things on the bottom rack. HUH? I guess a bunch of their people got fired the day before(thus the shortage) for leaving items in the bottom of the buggys when they helped the customers out. Great, but why do I need a manager to authorize you to put 2 12-packs of Coke down there? Uh-uh, no. Her solution was to tell the bagger to grab a second cart, to which I responded he’s a big guy, let just have him carry them out shall we? I wasn’t parked far away. So he picks them up, and I turn to see the old man looking like he’s about to have a stroke or something. Clearly he was not the understanding sort, and I muttered a quick “Sorry for holding up the line!” as I pushed my cart out so fast you’d have thought my ass was on fire.

I think next time I’ll stick with waiting in the regular line with a Star Magazine or something.

11 Comments on I Thought The Old Man Was Gonna Take Me Down!

  1. Beckie
    March 22, 2007 at 2:18 pm (10 years ago)

    OMG, I was 10 seconds away from the exact same thing happening to me the other day. Lucky for the old man (yes, it was even an old man), I saw him coming up just before I put the first item up there. So I went merrily back on my way to the regular lane. I’m with you, I’ll just stay put from now on.

    Reply
  2. sara - The Estrogen Files
    March 22, 2007 at 5:21 pm (10 years ago)

    Jeeze! I just love those cranky old men. No matter what you did, just existing was going to cause him to laser-eye you. Someone pooh-d in his wheaties a long time ago and he’s still pis*ed about it!

    Anyway, I never get waved to the short line. I guess I scare them, what with 4 kids hanging from the cart and in various stages of “pain” and whine…

    Reply
  3. Swistle
    March 22, 2007 at 7:19 pm (10 years ago)

    Oh, man, my heart was racing just reading this! I’m always having those express line people wave me over, and because I am afraid of EXACTLY THAT SAME SITUATION happening to me, I always say, “Oh, no, I’m not in a hurry.” I could be bleeding steadily from a major artery and I would STILL say no to the express lane lady. She means well, but she does not realize that the other customers will CRUCIFY me if I take her up on her offer.

    Reply
  4. Diane
    March 22, 2007 at 7:44 pm (10 years ago)

    I know exactly what you mean!!! LOL! I chuck it all up to karma though. I let plenty of people in front of me when I have a full cart and the express lane isn’t even open. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Tulipmom
    March 22, 2007 at 10:06 pm (10 years ago)

    Doesn’t the grocery bring out the best in people? Just yesterday I witnessed a crotchety old man call an elderly woman “shorty” when he mistakenly assumed she was trying to cut in front of him in line (she wasn’t … she simply didn’t realize he was in line since his cart wasn’t in the actual line). “Who you callin’ shorty?” she sneered. Honestly, I had a hard time not laughing my a– off at the whole scene.

    Reply
  6. the domestic minx
    March 23, 2007 at 12:28 am (10 years ago)

    Oh I have been there with you darling.
    I have been given the(geriatric and other) stare so many times now my back is bleeding.
    And so not your fault…
    Horrendous.
    Love your blog xx

    Reply
  7. Rhonda
    March 23, 2007 at 10:20 am (10 years ago)

    I love your descriptions. I have so been there and usually just grin at the old buzzard and ask if he wants a kid. lol

    Reply
  8. Coach Coco
    March 23, 2007 at 1:36 pm (10 years ago)

    You – full cart of groceries, need help to take it all out.
    Old grump – four measley items.

    Who do you think the store loves more? (Make that your store motto!).

    Reply
  9. jacer
    March 23, 2007 at 3:26 pm (10 years ago)

    Ahh, never fails, does it??? I ALWAYS get in the wrong lane!!!

    Reply
  10. Angie
    March 28, 2007 at 2:04 pm (10 years ago)

    That’s too funny. I think we’ve all been in that boat. I always feel so dang bad too.

    Last night I was standing in line at the grocery store with 3 of the 4 kids (one was at piano lessons) and it was a teenage kid checking my groceries and he kept getting phone calls from some other kid in the store and of course, when their little phones ring, they have to answer. I’m starting to get annoyed because no one is saying anything on the other end of the line. It’s just someone horsing around at peak shopping time.

    So the next time it rings I said, “Let me have that phone.”

    So he hands it over and I said ever so sweetly, “this is the customer on lane 8, Logan is working right now, so how about you let the man do his job. There is about 4 other people in this line besides me and guess what, we all want to get home to our families and every time you call, everyone’s gotta wait on you.”

    That phone didn’t ring again.

    Reply

Leave a Reply