Thanks to our founding fathers failing to write into the Constitution about a woman’s fundamental right to self-pleasure, the ass-backward state of Alabama is upholding a ban on the sale of sex toys. No, I WISH I was joking. Apparently sex toys lead to immoral behavior like prostitution and molestation. I don’t know about you guys, but just using the one little toy I have doesn’t exactly inspire me to go start screwing random strangers for money. Heck, it doesn’t even inspire me to sleep with my own husband, much less anyone else’s. I love men, I really do, but this is a law obviously pushed by a man with a little penis complex.

5 Comments on Too Bad the Constitution Left Out Sex Toys.

  1. Heather
    February 15, 2007 at 9:43 pm (11 years ago)

    Oh dear. I hope that law also excludes all areas west of I 65 like it does for porn. Apparently, if you live west of I-65 that means you aren’t prone to prostitution & molestation, unlike those backward sickos who live north and east of it. And the locale makes perfect sense because Montgomery IS north and east of I-65…with it being the state capital, god knows it is full of perverts out to screw anyone they can!

  2. Stephanie
    February 15, 2007 at 10:43 pm (11 years ago)

    Heck, it doesn’t even inspire me to sleep with my own husband, much less anyone else’s.

    I literally laughed out loud.

  3. Jennifer
    February 16, 2007 at 9:45 am (11 years ago)

    This is just priceless! Only in Alabama? I wonder…

  4. amanda
    February 16, 2007 at 3:44 pm (11 years ago)

    One more reason to move back to VA!

  5. Mack
    May 1, 2007 at 9:57 am (10 years ago)

    As a male I have to ask: Just what are those chaps in Alabama afraid of? It sounds like someone is afraid of being put on the shelf in favor of Big John Hancock, the vibrating fireman. I don’t understand this sort of Bible belt hysteria. I am from Texas, were everything, I fear, is a potential sex toy. For we Texans jump at the chance to proclaim: Right To Bear Arms!


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