I am a messy person. I admit it. Everyone who knows me knows I am about the least organized person you will ever meet. I am spacey, I tend to be late to everything, and when I expect people to my house, 99% of the time I will still be vacuuming when they get here. I have just always said “This is how I am” and left it alone. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it right?
This was fine until about two weeks ago. My lack of organizational skills finally resulted in a screwup in our budget, and thats the one area I do tend to pay attention to(even if I don’t quite tend to get the bills paid on time..). Hubby was upset obviously, but handled it with surprising grace. I on the other hand felt like I’d gotten a huge slap in the face, a total wakeup call if you will. I was spending so much time chasing my own tail I was neglecting the things that most needed my attention- the house, the kids, the budget, and my husband. I had to do something. I deleted all my bookmarks, uninstalled my chat program, and spent the last two weeks doing a bit of soul searching. Ok, a LOT of soul searching. What I found surprised me.
I want to be Martha Stewart.
Ok, not really. Martha’s a bit of a freak, and no matter how organized I get I will never learn to make my own deck chairs or do hand-stitched Valentine cards. But I do want to get back to basics, and become a better housewife. the ex and I have what I call a traditional relationship- he works outside the home, and I take care of the house and kids and all that entails. The problem is that I haven’t been very good at keeping up my end of the bargain. I hate housework, I suck at scheduling, and I get annoyed cooking the same 10 dishes over and over for the picky eater I married. And like so many daughters of feminists(in theory if not practice), I felt like housework was not a woman’s job, and so hubby should be helping with that when he got home. Yes, I truly believed he should work all day, and then come home and do half of my job as well. It has only been in the last week or so I realized how selfish this is. It would be different if I were working, but as a sahm, this IS my job. Keeping the house clean, the meals cooked, etc etc is what I signed up for when we agreed that I would stay home with the kids. Honestly, I feel like an ass for having been so petty and resentful of the situation for as long as I have. I am doing my best to remedy it though. My house is surprisingly cleaner and much more organized, though still a work in progress. I am caught up on my laundry. I am actively seeking out new recipes that my picky man will love. I am paying more attention to my kids and my marriage. I miss my buddies, but I should have more time for that now that the housework is nearly under control.
So here I am. Consider this my coming out. I am now a 50’s housewife in training, but without the cute little aprons and high heels. 😉