Month: August 2006

Outdoor Plumbing, Eeek!

I have said before I am not meant to be the mom to any boys(much less 2 of them) because I have a hard time with the outdoor plumbing factor. Girl parts are simple, boy parts you have to admit are a little strange. It takes come getting used to, and I honestly am not sure I am ever going to get used to it.

This point was driven home to me today as I took Brendan to go potty, and he sat on the toilet and started to play. Being male, his toy of choice is his penis. I thought I’d seen it all- the yanking, the bending, the amazing ability to try to stuff his penis into his belly button. Oh no. It gets better. Tonight I got the pleasure of seeing my son attempt to, for lack of a better description, make a ‘pig in a blanket’ with his privates.

Yeah. I’ll let you work that one out in your head.

AF Went AWOL, Then Found.

Without going into too much detail, AF started to make her appearance last week, then mysteriously dissapeared. 5 days later, all signs of her coming vanished without a trace.

$8 and a a negative pregnancy test later(hey, vasectomies do fail!), I counted my blessings and figured for once I got lucky and am skipping this one. She visits every 3 weeks, so I am due for a break right?

Note to self, do not wear white pants when AF is MIA. Ever.

Second note to self, keep a box of tampons in the car. Would have saved self a LOT of panic and embarassment today.

Nuff said.

The Answer is Revealed.

Brendan’s new speech therapist, what did we ever do without her?

Seriously, I am trying to like her, and trying to give her a chance. I really am. I have not gotten the best vibe from her to begin with, but you don’t always click with everyone. But like the spiders, live and let live. I don’t have to like her, I just have to take my son to her twice a week and let her do her job.

That was until today, when he had her first appointment with him. (Well, him and 3 other kids at the same time, but thats another rant for another day.) She brings him back from her classroom, tells me how great he did, and then shares this profound wisdom with me, complete with condescending tone-

“He can say the words, you just have to break them down for him

Ya don’t say?? Amazing. How in a year of speech therapy did 3 very qualified therapists manage to overlook that?  I mean hell, if its that simple we should have him all fixed up in a few weeks right? All the therapy and all the work at home, and apparently we are just not breaking it down enough for him. Give me a fucking break.

Twice in a week I have been in tears over this woman, this is NOT looking good.

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