Mother’s Day has always been something of a hard day for me. I am one of those horrible people who chooses not to have a relationship with her own mother, and while I don’t regret it for a second, it makes Mother’s Day somewhat bittersweet. As I log into Facebook tomorrow I will get to see half a million status updates of people thanking their moms for being so wonderful, pictures chiding people that they should always appreciate the woman who brought them into this world, and thank goodness I don’t have cable, because I’m pretty sure the Hallmark and FTD commercials would be enough to put me over the edge.
Not every mother is wonderful, and not every person who gives birth is worth celebrating, and there are many, many people who should be recognized on Mother’s Day but aren’t.
I was in Hallmark today, and I didn’t see any cards recognizing those who should be mothers, but through battles with infertility are not…yet.
There was also a lack of cards for those who have been pregnant but suffered losses, and those who have lost a child.
You won’t generally find cards for women who are non-custodial mothers, those who are estranged from their children for their own health and sanity, or those who have given children up for adoption.
Not every mother or those who wish to be fit into the standard soppy holiday mold, but know that you are thought of, and appreciated, nonetheless. I wish you love and peace on this bittersweet day tomorrow.
This is a recording Paul did for me of Stormageddon’s heartbeat coming from my doppler. I’ve been able to pick it up since 8 weeks 4 days, but it’s gotten easier to find as the weeks go on. Hoping to feel some movement soon so I won’t be inclined to check it so often!
In the past I have been the queen of the New Years resolution. I love making them, and feel like there is always room for improvement. Even if you don’t keep them, there is a lot to be said for making goals and striving to stick to them.
2012 was an amazing year for us – Paul’s immigration stuff got finished, he got not one but two long-term consulting jobs , we got a great visit with my mother in law, I got to spend more time with my family, and we found out we are expecting a new arrival next August. We are happy with the rental we are in, and everyone is healthy.
We did ok keeping our 2012 resolutions, which included things like getting the immigration stuff finished, preparing to get pregnant, and trying a new restaurant every month. So now I’ve hit a dilemma – what do you commit to change when life is going pretty well?
Losing weight is kind of the old stand-by, but being pregnant throws a bit of a wrench in that. I could try to commit to losing the baby weight by the end of the year, but will I really be happy putting that sort of pressure on myself so close to the holidays? I think not.
This year my goals are going to be more realistic. 2012 was all about change for us, I’d like 2013 to be more about slowing down to enjoy life.
I want to take more time to read. It’s something I greatly enjoy, and not having a ton of energy these days, it’s easy to do without much effort.
I want to de-clutter a bit and get rid of things that aren’t used. Not because I want a spotless house, but because I want to simplify, and useless things that just take up space are stressful.
I plan to eat healthier now that the holidays are over. Gaining weight is part and parcel of being pregnant, but I don’t do myself any favors by eating poorly, and it just makes me feel sick afterwards.
Finally, I want to work on being kinder to myself. I’ve always said I want to lose x number of lbs, or read x number of books, or do this or that, but when life happens, all I see is that I didn’t accomplish what I expected to.
Overall I’d like to just stress less and enjoy more. I feel like sometimes we get so busy and so caught up in things that we forget to live in the now and do what makes us happy. Cooking good meals, spending quiet evenings with friends, having more meaningful conversations…This is my plan for 2013.